- Stimpy: [calling out to him] Re-en!
- Ren: [angrily] What!
- Stimpy: Are you feeling any better?
- Ren: [mocking him] No I'm not feeling any better!
- [suspicious]
- Ren: Wait, what are you up to?
- Stimpy: [innocently] Oh nothing!
- Ren: What have you got behind your back?
- [gets off the couch, rolls up his newspaper and prepares to hit Stimpy with it]
- Ren: You're hiding something from me... aren't you? What is it you're hiding? All right let's see it! Okay, hand it over!
- [Stimpy places the happy helmet on his head]
- Ren: Hey what is this thing? Get it off of me!
- Stimpy: It's the Happy Helmet, Ren. Now you'll always be happy! And this is the remote control. And I use this dial to control how happy you are!
- Ren: You sick little monkey! Why I outta...
- [Stimpy presses a dial that causes him to crack a smile]
- Stimpy: Hey it works!
- [presses the button again]
- Ren: Hey! What's happening... to me?
- [he is forced to smile again]
- Ren: No! Got to fight it! Can't lose control!
- [in a deep voice]
- Ren: Will strong... .
- [in a high pitched voice]
- Ren: body weak... .
- [he loses control and laughs insanely as Stimpy watches with excitement]
- Ren: Stimpy I'm so happy! I must... go... do... nice things!
- [laughs manically, twists his body around, and walks away]
- [From the Happy Happy Joy Joy song]
- Stinky Weaselteats: I told you I'd shoot! But you didn't believe me! Why didn't you believe me?
- Ren: [under the influence of the happy helmet] I must do wonderful things for my friend Stimpy!
- [sticks his face into Stimpy's litter box and touches it]
- Ren: Oh joy! Ha ha ha!
- [picks it up and dances over to a trash can]
- Ren: See how I love to clean filthy cat boxes!
- [laughs insanely as he scoops out the litter]
- Stimpy: Ahem. Ladies and gents, I give you... the Cheese-O-Phone! Now we can talk to cheese, anywhere in the world, regardless of their foreign tongues! Uh, go ahead Ren. Say something in... Limburger.
- Stimpy: Check this out, Ren. It's a remote control shaver. Now you can get a clean, close shave, without even being there! Ob-ser-uv!
- Stimpy: Say, what's the matter, Ren? Say... you don't suppose... He's unhappy? I know now what I must do. I must use my gift of invention, to save Ren.
- Stimpy: It's the Happy Helmet, Ren. Now you'll always be happy! And this is the remote control. And I use this dial to control how happy you are!
- Stimpy: Oh Re-en! I've got a surprise for you! Hey... maybe Ren is somewhere being sad! I will make him happy again!
- Stimpy: Boy, Ren, if you think you're happy now, wait'll you hear this! It's a record of my favorite song!