- [trying to convince Pierre America is great]
- Darnell Turner: All the wars we've won. Revolutionary, Spanish-American, 1812...
- Randy Hickey: We won that war 18 to 12? That was a close one.
- [to Earl]
- Randy Hickey: I can't wait for you to give Willie the mailman your envelope, when he sees he's gotta go all the way to France he's gonna be pissed.
- [Pierre has just punched Earl out]
- Joy Turner: I thought French people didn't like fighting.
- Pierre: [bitterly] Oh, ze World War Two joke, zat's fresh.
- Catalina: Earl.
- Earl Hickey: I'm giving breakfast to the French guy. Hey, can I borrow you master key to break into his room?
- Catalina: Anytime.
- [trying to convince Pierre America is great]
- Darnell Turner: We got baseball, roller coasters, and a system of jurisprudence based on Jeffersonian Democracy and not the Napoleonic Code. That little dude was whack.
- [trying to convince Pierre America is great]
- Catalina: America is the land of the free and the home of the slaves.
- [trying to convince Pierre America is great]
- Joy Turner: How can you not like this country? It's got everything you want, except for a big ass fence on the border. We're working on that, too.
- Pierre: So, I am guessing that there is no 24 hour concierge?
- Earl Hickey: If concierge is a fancy word for hooker, they'll be around as soon as the methadone clinic closes.