Bedtime Stories (2008)
Adam Sandler: Skeeter Bronson
Photos
Quotes
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Luau Waitress : Kona coffee ice cream.
Skeeter Bronson : Yeah? What's the catch? You're gonna light it on fire? 'Cause I'm on to you, honey.
Luau Waitress : No fire. It would melt. Just take the ice cream and a chill pill.
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Mickey : Look's like Bugsy's eaten a lot of burgers in the last ten minutes.
Skeeter Bronson : Wow!
Mickey : He keeps going like that, we could make bacon out of Bugsy.
[Bugsy looks at them]
Skeeter Bronson : He's kidding, Bugsy. Take it easy.
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Skeeter Bronson : Okay, I'll do it. But you gotta say ''Skeeter's the coolest, I'm the nerd''.
Wendy : "Skeeter's the coolest, I'm the nerd"?
Skeeter Bronson : Yeah you are!
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Skeeter Bronson : What's on my head?
Patrick : Bugsy.
Skeeter Bronson : Why do you call him Bugsy?
Patrick : Because of his eyes.
Skeeter Bronson : Well let's see his eyes.
[sees Bugsy's huge eyes and screams]
Skeeter Bronson : Wow! Those eyes would be big on a cow!
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Skeeter Bronson : His name was Mr. Underappreciated.
Patrick : What is underdemeciated?
Skeeter Bronson : What?
Patrick : Underdemeciated?
Skeeter Bronson : That's right, I forgot, you're 6, well his name was Sir Fix-a-lot.
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Skeeter Bronson : [to his sister] I don't know anything about plants except that *you* make cakes out of them!
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Skeeter Bronson : [looking over the kids' storybooks] What do ya got here, anyways? "Rainbow Alligator Saves the Wetlands"? Uh, no. "The Organic Squirrel Gets a Bike Helmet"? I'm not reading these Communist books to you guys! Don't you got any *real* stories?
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Bobbi : We thought you were supposed to be the good guy.
Skeeter Bronson : So did I.
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Skeeter Bronson : [as cowboy speaking to chief] Mind showing me your finest horse?
Chief Running Mouth : [Turns suddenly to Skeeter as Native American music plays] My ancestors believed horse spirit come down from mountain, during time of fire, wind. Many brave warrior walk trail of moon bear...
Skeeter Bronson : Yeah I just wanna see the horse; I don't need all this.
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Skeeter Bronson : You mind sleeping over? I'm gonna duck out a few hours.
Mickey : Oh, yeah, yeah. Mmm. By the way, um... I am, uh, legally obliged to tell you that I suffer from... sleep panic disorder.
Skeeter Bronson : OK, what's, uh, sleep panic disorder?
Mickey : Believe me, you don't want to know.
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Tricia Sparks : Uh, Patrick, hi. I'm Trisha Sparks. I just wanted you to know that... thanks for saving the school.
Skeeter Bronson : Western. Go western!
Patrick : No thanks necessary, ma'am.
Skeeter Bronson : That's my boy. That's my boy.
Tricia Sparks : There must be some way for me to show my appreciation.
Skeeter Bronson : Oh-ho-ho! Get it.
[Trisha kisses Patrick]
Skeeter Bronson : Ooh! Hoo-hoo-hoo!
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Skeeter Bronson : [during the gumball shower] This... is... spooky.
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Jill : I had to park all the way down the block.
Skeeter Bronson : Oh well. Next time why don't you park in that box
[Points to Jill's large gift]
Skeeter Bronson : Plenty o' room in there.
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Skeeter Bronson : Haven't you heard? Goofy is the new handsome.
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Skeeter Bronson : I don't know but it's been said, Bugsy's eyes pop out of his head, march, march, march.
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Wendy : Don't talk to them about school.
Skeeter Bronson : Why not?
Wendy : They're closing it down. I'm getting laid off.
Skeeter Bronson : No way! You? But you're like the classic school principle! I mean you're scary and bad with people...
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Little Boy : What's in that bag?
Skeeter Bronson : Chocolate Chip Cookie.
Little Boy : [Grabs the bag] FOOD!
[Runs off with kids following him]
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Skeeter Bronson : What the heck did you do that for?
Angry Dwarf : Because I'm angry.
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Patrick : [eating hamburgers for the first time] Mom's going to kill us.
Skeeter Bronson : No she's not, two reasons, one she's not going to find out, two, when your mom was little she ate hamburgers all the time in this room.
Patrick and Bobbi : She did?
Skeeter Bronson : Yep.
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Skeeter Bronson : So Sir Fix-a-lot moved into a giant shoe
[shows Sir Fix-a-lot living in a giant Chuck Taylor shoe]
Skeeter Bronson : developed a case of athlete's face, threw himself in the moat and fed himself to the crocodiles.
[as Sir Fix-a-lot, grumbling]
Skeeter Bronson : Oh what the heck?
[jumps in]
Skeeter Bronson : The end.
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Barry Nottingham : Do you realize germs can reproduce 80 percent faster in bright light?
Skeeter Bronson : Oh, OK. Here we go, nice and dark again.
[Skeeter turns the lights off]
Skeeter Bronson : The germs are confused.
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Skeeter Bronson : Good thing my wallet only had three dollars in it. And my Derek Jeter baseball card!
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Skeeter Bronson : *Mumbling*
Mickey : Jumping up and down on the alligator.
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Skeeter Bronson : Happy birthday, Bobbi!
[Hands her bags]
Skeeter Bronson : Picked this up at the hotel.
[leaves]
Bobbi : [pulling items out of the bag] Shampoo? Soap?
Patrick : [pulling items out of the bag] A hanger and a towel?
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Skeeter Bronson : Happy birthday there, Bobbi.
Patrick : I'm Patrick. She's Bobbi.
Skeeter Bronson : Oh, my bad. Got you a little something. Happy birthday, Bobbi. Here you go. Picked it up at the hotel.