Anita Barone: Vicky Gold

Quotes 

• [Kenny is living at the Gold house after being thrown out of his own for being gay] 

  Vicky Gold : Now that he has a boyfriend and he's gonna be home alone while we're away, I think you need to talk to him about safe sex.

  Dave Gold : Ahhwwweh, whaddayou kidding me?

  Vicky Gold : No! We don't know what he knows and doesn't know about sex.

  Dave Gold : And I'd like to keep it that way.

  Vicky Gold : And I'd like to keep him from getting AIDS.

  Dave Gold : A'right, a'right, a'right, fine. Fine. I'll go have a talk with him about the birds and... the birds.

  [Dave finds Kenny reading in the living room] 

  Dave Gold : So, uh, eeah, you're, ah, you're, ah, you're reading a comic book, huh?

  Kenny : [a little apprehensive]  Yeah.

  Dave Gold : Yeah, well, uh, you know how those things come wrapped in plastic to protect 'em?

  Kenny : Um, yeah.

  Dave Gold : That's always a good idea in general. Y'know, it's good to keep things wrapped up, to protect 'em. Y'know what I'm saying?

  Kenny : Please tell me this is about me leaving the ham out on the counter.

  [he pauses] 

  Kenny : Oh my God, are you trying to talk to me about safe sex?

  Dave Gold : Yeah, but uh, there's nothin' to feel weird about.

  [the scene shifts to the show's trademark 'thought room', where the characters speak directly to the audience, this time a split screen with both Dave and Kenny] 

  Dave and Kenny, together : This is the most uncomfortable moment of my entire life!