Scrubs (TV Series)

My Cold Shower (2007)

Zach Braff: Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [after Kelso suggests J.D. is sad about Elliot's engagement]  Can you believe him?

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Well, you and Elliot did go through a lot.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : You two have been on and off again more than Ross and Rachel from Friends.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Please, I am nothing like Ross.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Of course not. You're Rachel; she's Ross.

• [at Elliot's proposal party] 

  J.D. : As I looked at all the relationships around me - some that had gone on forever...

  [shot of Perry and Jordan] 

  J.D. : ...some that were reigniting...

  [shot of Carla and Turk] 

  J.D. : ...and some that had just begun...

  [shot of Elliot and Keith] 

  J.D. : I realized something.

  [cut to J.D. in the shower] 

  J.D. : It should have been me.

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [Thinking]  Turk was right. I can make this happen. Because whether Melody wanted to admit it or not, there was a definite connection between us.

  Melody O'Harra : [to an intern who looks like J.D]  So, thanks for hanging with me last night.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : That's not me, Melody.

  Melody O'Harra : Oh, my bad! You two could be twins!

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [He looks over the other guy]  We look nothing alike! What are you, Egyptian? I don't wanna hear it.

• Dr. Christopher Turk : [to JD's lookalike]  Hey J.D., I was wondering if I could borrow your scooter, so I could run a few erran...

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [the real J.D. walks up behind Turk]  He looks nothing like me! He doesn't even have any laughter in his eyes, like at all!

• Melody O'Harra : Well... it's official: I am the only single sorority sister left. I guess it's true what they say: first one to be in a threesome, last one to get married.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Damn!

  [beats one hand over the table where Doug is sitting at, pouring Doug's coffee over him] 

  Dr. Christopher Turk : I'm sorry, she just said she was in a threesome.

  Dr. Doug Murphy : [having the same reaction as Turk's, and so forth]  Damn!

  male nurse : Damn!

  surgeon : Damn!

  Snoop Dogg Resident : [out of frame]  Damn!

  Melody O'Harra : I just don't want to end up like my aunt Sheila and get married and have a kid when I'm 50; I mean, you find a tooth in that house, you don't know whose mouth it fell out of.

  J.D. : Oh...

  Melody O'Harra : Sometimes I wonder, you know, if I'm ever actually going to find someone, you know?

  J.D. : Yeah... Now, was it two girls and a guy, or a devil's threesome?

  Melody O'Harra : All-girl.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : [as J.D. lifts coffee cups from the table, he beats both his hands on it]  Damn! Sorry...

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [Voice over]  It took everything I had in my arsenal to get Melody to mack with me again.

  [Flashback] 

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Hey, do you want to mack with me again?

  Melody O'Harra : Sure!

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Well, I'm giving up on Melody.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Dude, no. Man, me? I'm married, so I may never, ever, EVER have sex again. You? There's still a chance for you. Damn it, if you're not going to do it for yourself, at least do it for me.

  Todd : And me.

  Dr. Doug Murphy : For all of us.

  [the other three look strangely at Doug] 

  Dr. Doug Murphy : What? You guys are surprised I don't get any?

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [J.D.'s fantasy: J.D. and Elliot are lying on the couch]  You know what? I'm really happy that you're my wife.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : [smiling]  Me too.

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : You guys are crazy. Nobody else in this hospital thinks I'm upset about Elliot.

  Dr. Mickhead : [cut to Dr. Mickhead]  Tough break, man.

  Todd : [cut to Todd raising his hand]  "'Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" five.

  Leonard : [cut to Leonard shakes his hook at J.D]  I know about loss, brother.

  Dr. Doug Murphy : [cut to Doug in the morgue, holding a heart]  It's like she took your heart and just...

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [the camera cuts to J.D. A splat is heard]  Doug, aren't you supposed to save those?

  Dr. Doug Murphy : Don't tell anyone.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Okay. I'm going to head over here to vomit.

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : I'm tired of the cold showers.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : That was yesterday, when she was this confident, young hotel reviewer. Today she's a sad, vulnerable, last single woman standing. Now, are you going to create a wonderful memory and then secretly call me from the bathroom right after, or not?

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Turk, you know I'd like to be the one making the secret bathroom call for once, but I'm not that desperate.

• Dr. Bob Kelso : Hey, sport. Sorry to hear about your placing second in the Dr. Reid-a-thon.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Sir?

  Dr. Bob Kelso : Oh, you don't have to hide it, son. Given your history, you must be taking her engagement pretty hard. Sadly, it's only in the movies where the pretty girl ends up with the uggo.