Scrubs (TV Series)

My Cold Shower (2007)

Johnny Kastl: Doug

Quotes 

• Melody O'Harra : Well... it's official: I am the only single sorority sister left. I guess it's true what they say: first one to be in a threesome, last one to get married.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Damn!

  [beats one hand over the table where Doug is sitting at, pouring Doug's coffee over him] 

  Dr. Christopher Turk : I'm sorry, she just said she was in a threesome.

  Dr. Doug Murphy : [having the same reaction as Turk's, and so forth]  Damn!

  male nurse : Damn!

  surgeon : Damn!

  Snoop Dogg Resident : [out of frame]  Damn!

  Melody O'Harra : I just don't want to end up like my aunt Sheila and get married and have a kid when I'm 50; I mean, you find a tooth in that house, you don't know whose mouth it fell out of.

  J.D. : Oh...

  Melody O'Harra : Sometimes I wonder, you know, if I'm ever actually going to find someone, you know?

  J.D. : Yeah... Now, was it two girls and a guy, or a devil's threesome?

  Melody O'Harra : All-girl.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : [as J.D. lifts coffee cups from the table, he beats both his hands on it]  Damn! Sorry...

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Well, I'm giving up on Melody.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Dude, no. Man, me? I'm married, so I may never, ever, EVER have sex again. You? There's still a chance for you. Damn it, if you're not going to do it for yourself, at least do it for me.

  Todd : And me.

  Dr. Doug Murphy : For all of us.

  [the other three look strangely at Doug] 

  Dr. Doug Murphy : What? You guys are surprised I don't get any?

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : You guys are crazy. Nobody else in this hospital thinks I'm upset about Elliot.

  Dr. Mickhead : [cut to Dr. Mickhead]  Tough break, man.

  Todd : [cut to Todd raising his hand]  "'Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" five.

  Leonard : [cut to Leonard shakes his hook at J.D]  I know about loss, brother.

  Dr. Doug Murphy : [cut to Doug in the morgue, holding a heart]  It's like she took your heart and just...

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [the camera cuts to J.D. A splat is heard]  Doug, aren't you supposed to save those?

  Dr. Doug Murphy : Don't tell anyone.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Okay. I'm going to head over here to vomit.