Sam and Max: Abe Lincoln Must Die! (2007 Video Game)

David Nowlin: Sam

Quotes 

• [Sam shoots Lincoln who remains unharmed] 

  Sam : Somehow, I just knew that wasn't gonna work.

  Abe Lincoln : Shoot me once, shame on you. Shoot me twice, shame on me.

• Sam : Do you have any... potatoes in the likeness of Catholic saints?

  Bosco : [bad Russian accent]  Nyet.

  Sam : Do you have any souvenir snowglobes from the Mystery Vortex?

  Bosco : Nyet.

  Sam : Do you have any Lobstah Fahts brand cereal?

  Bosco : Nyet.

  Sam : Do you have any Tagalog rhyming dictionaries, abridged?

  Bosco : Nyet.

  Sam : Do you have any wiener cozies?

  Bosco : Da. We just get shipment of those in this week. Let me look.

  Max : Oh boy!

  Bosco : [normal accent]  Oh wait. Did you say "wiener cozies"? I thought you said "Navajo blankets". No, we're all out of wiener cozies.

  Sam : Do you have any Navajo blankets?

  Bosco : Nyet.

• Sam : Did you call yourself "Superball"?

  Superball : Code name, sir. I'm a bouncer. Secret Service humor.

  Sam : And who's "Papa Bear"?

  Superball : Section chief. Runs the operation. Protects the President.

  Max : Oh, "Superball". I get it!

• Sam : You're always with the President?

  Max : Even when he's gotta... you know?

  Chuckles : Always. I never leave his side.

  Sam : Your codependency sickens me.

  Max : And it sickens me in exactly the same way, doesn't it, Max? I mean Sam.

• Sam : [reading a sign next to a pond]  "Please do not feed the submarine."

  Max : What can you feed a submarine, anyway?

  Sam : Nothing. Weren't you listening?

• Sybil : Hi, fellas. I'm really excited! I found the perfect job for me.

  Sam : You don't say.

  Sybil : That's right. I, Sybil Pandemik, am now a professional matchmaker.

  Max : I thought I smelled phosphorous.

  Sam : I thought I smelled that joke coming down the turnpike, burning oil and dragging its muffler.