- James Rolfe: I'm laughing right now, because I think, for the first time ever, uh, since we've been doin' this, I was like thinking, like, how cool would it be to have Shaq Fu- or, Shaq Fu, Shaquille O'Neal here, and then I was like, measuring the room, like, I don't know if he'd fit in the room.
- Justin Silverman: The thing is, he could be sitting here, and he'd STILL be too tall.
- Genie: My name's Shitty 3D Genie and I'm here to say, I like grantin' wishes in a major way. Go Genie, go Genie, go Genie, go Genie!
- Antonio Piluso: Okay, for my first wish, Genie, I want all copies of "Speed" to turn into copies of "Speed 2: Cruise Control".
- Genie: Well that movie sucks, but your wish is my command.
- [a VHS tape of "Speed" turns into "Speed 2: Cruise Control"]
- Kieran Fallon: ...You're a monster.
- Antonio Piluso: For my second wish, I'd like all copies of "Road House 2" to be erased from existence.
- Genie: You got it, dude.
- [a VHS tape of "Road House 2" disappears]
- Antonio Piluso: For my third wish, I'd like "Lost World: Jurassic Park" to be replaced by "Jurassic Park III"...
- Kieran Fallon: No, no, no. That's it. You already took away "Speed", you're not takin' away "The Lost World". "Jurassic Park III" sucks, I don't even understand why you like it.
- Antonio Piluso: You know what? My third wish? I don't want Kieran in the review today.
- Genie: No problemo.
- Kieran Fallon: You can suck my-
- [is replaced by Justin Silverman]
- Justin Silverman: Oh ho! I'm allowed back at the store?
- Antonio Piluso: No.
- James Rolfe: Careful what you wish for.
- Justin Silverman: [discussing "Kazaam"] It's fun. It's a fun movie.
- Antonio Piluso: No it's not! What- why do you hate good movies and then like trash like this? You shat on "Caddyshack", but ya love this Shaq, you sad sack.
- [pokes Justin with a cane]
- Antonio Piluso: God dammit.
- Antonio Piluso: Guys, stop sending me eye stabbing jokes, please. Please, for the love of God. I can't take it anymore, I'm afraid to check my notifications. I actually saw my eye doctor yesterday, I have 20:20 vision again, and I told him about what you've all been doing, and he laughed his ass off. But, which only made me angrier. Dr. George, great guy. Uh, stop sending me eye stabbing stuff. Yes, the eye eating was gross in this, and I hated it, especially since it looked like my dad.
- James Rolfe: When an eye doctor's laughing: "Ha ha, stabbing eyeballs".
- [chuckles]
- Antonio Piluso: Yeah! He thought it was hilarious, I'm like, hey, by the way, I started a show and people are sending me stabbing eye stuff and he's like, "Ha!" I'm like, "God dammit!"