- Randy Hickey: I know what'll cheer you up, Joy! Writing a story. You should do it.
- Joy Turner: Here's a story: Once upon a time, Randy shut up. The end. It had a slow start but I liked the middle.
- Joy Turner: [after a ninja in Randy's super-hero story is unmasked and revealed as Joy] Go ahead, finish me off.
- Randy Hickey: I'd never hurt a lady.
- Joy Turner: [breathes a sigh of relief]
- Randy Hickey: [snapping her neck] Lucky for me, you're no lady.
- Joy Turner: [finishing reading her story to her kids] ... And they went back to their trailer and lived happily ever after. OK you two, clean up and go to bed, and remember, if you don't listen to what I say, God will kill you.
- [kids hurry out]
- Darnell Turner: While I disagree with your view of a conventional anthropomorphic God, I respect you using that myth to discipline them rascally boys.
- Joy Turner: I'm a creative van, Darnell. I mean think about all that stuff I yell at the movie screen and all those great Mad Libs I've done. The purple Christina Aguilera flew into...
- Joy Turner, Darnell Turner: ...the horny Carol Burnett!