- Dr. Perry Cox: [video chatting with Jordan and Jack] All right, Jordan, you win. I miss you guys.
- Baby Jack: I miss you too, Daddy.
- Dr. Perry Cox: Jordan, would you like to say the same thing?
- Jordan Sullivan: I would not.
- Baby Jack: She would not.
- Jordan Sullivan: We'll call you tomorrow.
- [turns to Jack]
- Jordan Sullivan: Will we?
- Baby Jack: No!
- Jordan Sullivan: [laughing] No!
- [hangs up]
- Dr. Perry Cox: Barbie, please stop lumping us in together. Tomorrow is my day off and I am joyous to have my place all to myself. You see, I'm a lot of things: I'm a Scorpio; a registered Independent; a foodie; a Parrothead; yes I do love that Jimmy Buffet, always have, always will; a leg man...
- Dr. Bob Kelso: A right bastard.
- Dr. Perry Cox: Thank you, Bob. But I can assure you the one thing I am not is...
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Straight?
- Dr. Perry Cox: Audience participation is now over. The one thing I'm not is lonely. Capisci?
- The Janitor: Hey, Teddy! Lookin' bald and sweaty!
- Ted Buckland: Putting my smile away... And on with the day.
- Dr. Christopher Turk: [about Carla's Dream] That is a weird dream.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Yeah, I don't even like waterparks... I mean I did 'til someone thought it'd be funny to go down the slide two seconds after me.
- Dr. Christopher Turk: Dude, the lifeguard told me to go.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Really? Did he also tell you to take your trunks off, Turk? Because the last thing a guy wants to see when he's in a splash pool is his best friends junk headed towards him at forty miles per hour... felt like I got pistol-whipped!
- Dr. Perry Cox: [examining a radiography] Yeah, that looks like a healthy bone.
- Dr. Todd Quinlan: Speaking of healthy bones...
- Jordan Sullivan: Perry...
- Dr. Todd Quinlan: One second, ma'am. I've got one in my pants. He's all yours.
- Dr. Perry Cox: [to a surgeon] Why don't we go over this later? Thanks.
- Jordan Sullivan: What have you been doing all day?
- Dr. Perry Cox: Right up until this very moment I'd been successfully avoiding you.
- Jordan Sullivan: I came to tell you I'm taking the kids to my mother's for the weekend. And seeing that you're not allowed within 40 feet of her house...
- Dr. Perry Cox: The restraining order!
- Jordan Sullivan: Christmas memories... anyhoo, you're staying here. I'm gonna leave you alone to celebrate.