Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous (2008) Poster

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5/10
Predictable, easygoing comedy
gridoon202429 May 2009
I have to admit that I was drawn to "Major Movie Star" AKA "Private Valentine" mostly for the chance of seeing Jessica Simpson's fit body in a military uniform. The film itself is a predictable but painless affair. There are the expected "fish out of water" gags, the expected "rivalries that turn to friendships", and the expected "life lessons". Few of the gags show any notable wit. The film also feels prolonged, and is less raunchy than I would have preferred (some catfights are teased....but never occur). Jessica Simpson is probably one of the best things in the film. She often looks radiant, and has a million dollar smile. Of course she's basically playing herself, so no great acting stretches there! In the supporting cast, two women stand out: Olesya Rulin, who makes her nerdy character genuinely likable, and Cheri Oteri, as the toughest of the new recruits (she was actually a former sergeant who left the army but regretted it). For a comedy that's so predictable and tame, this one passes the time easily enough. ** out of 4.
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5/10
No Horrible
arfdawg-121 September 2020
I'm not a fan of Jessica Simpson but she does an adequate job acting through this very light movie.

It's all very predicable but also very easy to watch.
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3/10
Private Benjamin--The Aldi version
smc47616 February 2022
Warning: Spoilers
This film is basically a cheap remake of Private Benjamin, from 1980.

Lets consider the facts, and compare; Ditzy Blonde--check Rich--check Joins army to find herself--check Lets her team mates down and they get punished--check Major exercise for army and ditzy blond becomes leader and pulls team through--check and so on and so on

Jessica Simpson is basically playing Jessica Simpson As long as you dont have to pay to see this movie and you have a spare 90 minutes or so, that is probably the only circumstances to see this movie.
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"Light and fluffy..."
Blueghost22 March 2009
I grabbed the DVD off of the local Blockbuster new release shelf. One shouldn't judge a book (or film) by the DVD cover, but I guess I'm a sucker for a hot-blonde in military uniform. I knew not to expect too much of it, and, well, that's kind of what the viewer got, but there was a bit more here than meets the eye.

Years back when Goldie Hawn did Private Benjamin there was a lot of hype about the comic and comedic overtones of "Private Benjamin". But, it turned out to be a serious film with humor sprinkled in here and there. "Private Benjamin" was funny, but it wasn't light entertainment. It had some social commentary and other messages to convey to the audience. In this regard I was personally let down by "Private Benjamin", although I understand it as a quality film, and appreciate it as such.

"Private Valentine", on the other hand, is cut from a different cloth. It takes the Goldie Hawn film, removes the heavy undercurrent meat and replaces it with a light frothy soufflé. Jessica Simpson doesn't play the heavily laden woman nearing a conjuncture in her life, and is taken in by a more than slick military ad campaign. Simpson's character starts off as a lightweight star who wants to be taken seriously, but is not given the opportunity because of both the roles she's given, and the deeper reason of why she's given said roles. It takes Uncle Sam to turn her into "An army of one", so to speak. And a one-woman wrecking crew she becomes.

Unlike Private Benjamin, the Cold War is over, so there's no "Red menace" and/or scare to play off of. The sexual tension in this film is kept light and romantic, as opposed to the expose on abuse that Hawn's film portrayed. In short, it's light entertainment. "Private Valentine" is meant to be nothing more than that.

Having said this, and having a loose and tacit respect for this film, I do admit that it could have been executed better, particularly in the first act. The beginning of the film seems cobbled together, and not thoroughly vetted as it could have been. The whole movie seems to have been a bargain production, though not quite as low as a B-movie extravaganza. As such the exposition and staging are somewhat restrained.

Jessica Simpson herself is actually quite good in this role. In fact, everyone does a good job, but I was particularly impressed with Simpson's acting ability, and this comment comes from a man who is not one of her fans. There was no heavy emoting to be doe here, but Simpson did show us a diverse set of acting abilities. If the directing had been tightened up a little, then this film, Simpson included, could have really shined and exceeded all expectations.

As it stands now it's just light entertainment. Don't expect a remake of "Private Benjamin", because it really isn't. It takes the premise of that film, and, in a sense, turns it on its head to create something mildly enjoyable, and not overly wrought with social commentary, drama and character angst.

Not a great film, but then it was never meant to be one. Just something to watch on a lazy Sunday afternoon. If you go in not expecting too much, then you should be okay with it. The only warning I'd give is that it's a proverbial chick-flick. So, to my fellow testosterone comrades, try not to be overly critical of it.

Give it a shot.
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1/10
See the original...
moviedude121 February 2009
Jessica Simpson stars in this film released direct to video about a movie starlet who goes from bombing in the movie industry to bombing in the Army, First Sergeant Fox on her case every inch of the way.

Bomb! Bomb! Bomb! This film is so awful that I can't believe I made it all the way through. The surprising thing about this film is how bad it seems after Goldie Hawn did it almost thirty years ago. Save yourself the money, and the embarrassment of someone you know seeing this under your arm when you walk through Walmart, buying this DVD, and watch the original, "Private Benjamin."

1 out of 10 stars.
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1/10
Private Benjamin - 1980
januarykid-6601314 January 2021
To much like the classic, Private Benjamin - 1980 with Goldie Hawn who a sheltered young high-society woman joins the United States Army on a whim and finds herself in a trickier situation than she ever expected.
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4/10
Private Benjamin wannabe
Ckn488 February 2021
There are so many cliches in this I would not know where to begin. One thing I do know is, you don't go in anyone else's footlocker. Theft is a majorly serious crime in the army and it is brushed aside like its nothing. Admittedly making the main character a movie Star rather than a spoilt high society gal does work a little better but Private Benjamin did a much better all round job of a pretty prissy girl not wanting to be in the army learning self worth by going through basic training.

The sound is ok The Photography is ok The Acting is ok The script is, for the most part, corny and cringeworthy.

Its worth a watch unless you've seen Private Benjamin 👍
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2/10
Even for free it's not worth your time
baileybates-5795914 August 2021
The only "funny" part is her lousy salute. Don't waste your time.

If you have a remote that will fast forward, you might be able to watch five or ten minutes of it.
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6/10
It's not that serious
nya_m2528 December 2009
I don't quite understand why people get bent out of shape over this movie. If you go in thinking that it's going to be an accurate portrayal of the armed forces then you're just as dumb as you claim everyone in this movie to be. Come on people, it's a light hearted MOVIE. Last I checked in no way was this ever billed as anything other than what this movie is.

I am neither here nor there on any of Jessica's career moves but she played this bubbly character well. Whether that may be her playing a role or just being herself, may I ask the naysayers, why in the world do you care enough to be upset? It was not your job or duty to watch this movie so the choice to even consider watching the movie was all personal choice. But yet she's stupid and you bash her for the choice you made. The bottom line is simple, if you dislike her, if you're a gungho armed forces member, if you're all out bitter and pessimistic about everything then don't watch the movie. Don't be mad at the movie or actors because you chose to sit through an hour and a half of something you probably didn't care for to begin with.
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8/10
Not a bad movie at all! I love it.
Hunky Stud28 January 2010
I am surprised about this low rating for this movie. Well, i loved it myself.

First of all, you know that this is a comedy, so you shouldn't take everything so seriously. They may act silly and childish, but it was all for good fun.

Second, the casting is good, especially between Jessica Simpson and Ryan Sypek. Those two certainly have some good chemistry, they used their eyes to flirt with each other.

Third, some of the musical score were good. One particular piece was when they were eating the chocolate bars.

Unlike some comedies which are full of overt gross sexual content, this movie is clean. And I can definitely watch it for a second time. Too bad, it is unlikely that they are going to make a sequel. I myself would love to see what Valentine and Sergeant Evans do in the next movie.
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6/10
Predictable popcorn movie
bugzsiegel041 July 2008
This role is not a stretch for Ms. Simpson..she plays a down on her luck movie star who joins the army after a rough night and a bad breakup. The first twenty minutes of the movie are painful but it picks up once our main character joins the army. Cheri Oteri really shines in the film and she has some of the funniest scenes in the film. Keiko Agena, formerly of the Gilmore Girls, is totally under utilized and her comic potential is still untapped. Overall, this is predictable comedy that seems like a bad remake of "Private Benjamin". In fact, if you want to see a funny film about a rich spoiled girl who joins the army you are better off with Goldie Hawn's classic 80's film than this cheesy flick.
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6/10
Cute movie!
ana_kephra15 January 2010
While completely inaccurate in all the army experience Private Valentine shows, this is a cute and light hearted movie, good for watching with your girlfriends in a sleepover or with your family in a pleasant afternoon.

Not a movie to laugh out loud, not a movie with a romance to take your breath away, this is the kind of movie that makes you go "awwww, how sweet". Which for me, is perfect!

The acting is good, the storyline is okay and it actually surprised my expectations considering the title, the cover and the casting. It was particularly good to see Keiko Agena again, I missed her after Gilmore Girls!

I recommend it to anyone who is not expecting a cinema masterpiece in every movie they watch, or who is easily offended by how movies don't show reality exactly the way it is. You might have a good time watching it!
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8/10
decent
mattkratz24 February 2010
OK, I'll admit, I found myself thinking of "Private Benjamin" with Goldie Hawn when I saw this movie on the shelf at Blockbuster. I rented it on a whim, though, with a free coupon, and I'm glad I did. I thought the movie was really hilarious. Jessica Simpson's character is a spoiled movie actress who suddenly finds herself down on her luck when her movie bombs, her boyfriend turns out to be gay, and her accountant has been robbing her blind. The last straw comes when she crashes her car, and she winds up in front of an army recruitment office. She joins on a whim, expecting star treatment, and gets far from it. She winds up getting a real wakeup call, including the usual "sabotage scene" and distrust parts throughout. You might like this movie if you like the stars and comedy movies. I did. It features the motif of a character maturing, and she does.

** 1/2 out of ****
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7/10
Better than I thought it would be!
littlemssvixen14 March 2009
I started watching this movie with low expectations. But as I was watching I was really surprised. Jessica Simpsons acting was not at all bad! Shure it's a typical bubbly comedy, but what do you expect before watching it?! Besides if the movie would go any differently, people would be complaining anyway, because they would want a typical happy ending! I myself kinda have to admit, I love movies like this :D! Normally I'm not that big of a fan op jessica's performance in movies, but she really did good in this one. So for all the fans of romantic fun bubbly comedy's, this is one to watch :D(ps: hottie included...;)!)xxx
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6/10
A fun flick !
FloridaJoeH26 April 2021
Yes, a tad predictable, but still a lot of fun ! Jessica plays the lead role well.
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9/10
Fluffy Comedy
stina424226 March 2009
I was waiting for this movie to come out since before her last one was released and could not believe how long it was taking and how they skipped the theater release. I mean Jessica got a lot of harsh criticism for this role but I think she nailed it. I was expecting it to be awful since it went straight to DVD, but I was pleasantly surprised.

This movie was actually really funny and she did great in this role! I wish people wouldn't be so hard on her and hope her career in either movie or music does not end anytime soon.

Seriously worth watching!
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7/10
"You can pass that pass right over here"
xenazues15 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Yes you should see this movie. No you do not need to by this on blu ray. If they make it. There I got out of the way the questions I have when watching a review.

Now to the real fear about Jessica Simpson acting. It's not that bad. I would say it's below average but not bad. Of course I'm a sucker for one liners. So when Vivica tells the other girl "you have one one a pass" and Jessica snaps back with "you can pass that pass...Right here". I cut her some slack for her acting in the begging.

Now to the army. If you are going to watch this you have to ask yourself "are you familiar with bootcamp in the military"? If you are you will notice the same uniforms they were now. The ranks in the right places. They terms are correct. When the part where she was on the bus and it abruptly stopped I told my girl friend "here we go with drill sergeants". All the insults are spot on. Could be cause this was made in 2008 and i went to boot camp 2011 in the same fort Jackson.

I just want to say Vivica fox was excellent. I truly feel the script was terrible but she made the best of it. The girl who had red hair was a terrible actor but in bootcamp there is always one like her. Who is just so gun ho about everything. So that's pretty accurate.

I took of 1 point alone on the sergeant who was supposed to be a drill sergeant. Now I have heard of things like that going on when I was there. But the flirting was too much. His character didn't add anything to the script. It was a great story about his father but he should have went back to being tough on her.

Overall it gets a 7. The uniforms are spot on, the language is spot on, Vivica looks great, never was a fan of Jessica but she looks great and they did great with a terrible written script for an outdated plot. I mean Goldie Hawn private Benjamin is 1980. Stripes 1981. In the army has to be no later than 1995. The whole take a average unmotivated civilian and push the boot camp is an old plot. I've never seen an marine,navy, air force one. Why cause the army is the best hands down at turning people with low morals and character into people with integrity, self service, loyalty, duty, and personal courage.
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7/10
Fun movie
cobraecosse17 August 2022
First of all no one will get any awards for this movie, but it very much a fun light comedy that's easy to watch.

The description of the plot and main character played by Jessica Simpson is a perfect description of the whole film, a Fluffy popcorn movie that is predictable but still enjoyable.
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8/10
Sincerely Entertaining
browry073 February 2009
Warning: Spoilers
I will start off by saying that I have been a fan of Jessica Simpson since 1999. That being said, I was more impressed with this movie than Blonde Ambition. This movie was never made to be a blockbuster hit, but it succeeds at being entertaining for the duration. Jessica is funny in this movie and has perfect co-stars, including Ryan Sypek. After the movie, I was upset only because I know there is no chance of a sequel, even though I'd LOVE one. I think the connection between Jessica and Ryan is movie worthy--and personally a take-off or sequel with the two of them would be fun. I really suggest everyone give this movie a shot--just don't expect Oscar material--expect to be entertained as you eat some popcorn:)
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The most horrible army movie ever
spcopsmac4 December 2009
Warning: Spoilers
I've spent 6 years in the Army. this movie made a laughing joke of customs and regulations the entire time.This movie was not funny, made me want to harm myself. And the fact the Army spent $10,000 worth of gas to fuel a black hawk chopper to fly her out at the end of the movie also made me laugh.. The army is cheap they would have said "Here is a bus ticket , you have 10 hours to get there, if you are late you are AWOL" and that little kiss as the end..would cost that Drill Sergeant his entire career. he would end up a private. Why did god allow this movie to be made. If you want to see every thing that is wrong and a lie about the army , watch this movie.
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6/10
Actually, not all that bad
cwg2005a11 June 2016
I am a big anti-Simpson fan. Can't stand her, can't stand her movies. But I was very pleasantly surprised at "Private Valentine," not because it was high art or cinematic gold, but simply because it was fun, heartfelt, and managed to pull on some (albeit trite) heartstrings.

For example, when Olesya Rulin's "mousy" private speaks strongly to Vivica Fox's First Sergeant "Do I look like I want to cry to you?" it was a nice payoff.

There are many complaints by service personnel that the hair is not to proper length, the training sequences are not as accurate as they could be, etc etc. Does any of this matter? Of course not: this is a MOVIE, meant purely for entertainment, and it succeeds on that level.

Watch it, enjoy it. Unless you only enjoy obscure Eastern European art films, you will not regret the time spent here.
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8/10
Funny spoof.
steel_indigo5 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
There is room for a movie like this and this one is not the only movie since "Private Benjamin" that has a topic like this. Jessica Simpson is good in light comedic movies. I'm sure she would like to do something serious but this appears to be her niche at the moment. I know people think she is dumb but in all actuality I think that was a publicity hype. I remember her way back when she still had weight problems and was first emerging into the singing arena. I saw her on interviews and she is anything but stupid. She was great in this movie. The addition of Ryan Sypek as a subtle romance interest was well done.

I enjoyed this movie a lot. The military was a background but no rational adult would look for accuracy in this type of movie and especially since it was one that went straight to sales. I didn't find it but watched it on television and was highly entertained. If you just want something to pass the time with good scenes and comedic acting, watch this movie. It would never win awards but some of the movies made are purely for entertainment value and not to win awards and this is that kind of movie.
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10/10
Hilarious and charming comedy
amazon-597-9850010 May 2023
"Major Movie Star" is a delightful comedy starring Jessica Simpson as Megan Valentine, an aspiring actress who joins the army to chase her Hollywood dreams. With a mix of humor and charm, the film follows Megan's hilarious journey through basic training and her encounters with a strict drill sergeant portrayed by Vivica A. Fox. While it may not break new ground, the movie excels in delivering laughs, relatable characters, and themes of friendship. Jessica Simpson's endearing performance captures Megan's determination and innocence, making her a lovable protagonist. The film's script is filled with clever one-liners and comedic situations that keep the audience entertained throughout. The supporting cast, including Steve Guttenberg and Cheri Oteri, add their own comedic flair, enhancing the overall enjoyment. While not an award-winning masterpiece, this offers a lighthearted and feel-good experience that will leave you smiling. So, gather your friends, grab some popcorn, and get ready to embark on a hilarious adventure with Megan Valentine. This comedy is perfect for a fun movie night that guarantees laughter and a good time.
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8/10
98 Minutes pleasant view. It is what it is.
zendatrim17 March 2019
Warning: Spoilers
This was just a bit of fun, not meant to portray the real armed forces. Its frivolity, and fun not Private Benjamin. I enjoyed it it kept my attention and liked the fact the girl got the boy in the end.

If you have nothing to do for 98 minutes grab some popcorn put your feet up snuggle with a partner and just have a giggle and enjoy this movie. I thought Jessica Simpson acted very well in it and I liked all the supporting actors too.
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