- Miley Stewart: Lilly! Why do you read that tabloid trash? They're nothing but lies.
- Lilly Truscott: [clears throat] Hannah Montana looks fabulous...
- Miley Stewart: With the occasional glimmer of truth.
- Lilly Truscott: You didn't let me finish... Too bad she's really A GUY!
- Miley Stewart: [grabs magazine] You have got to be kidding.
- Lilly Truscott: I can't believe you didn't tell me. You slept over at my house! You borrowed my bras!
- Miley Stewart: Hey, I look gooood in a mustache. Oh yeah, I would definitely date me.
- Lilly Truscott: Me too.
- Miley Stewart, Lilly Truscott: [they look at each other strangely] Awkward!
- Miley Stewart: Nothing you say EVER means anything! You're the same jerk you were six months ago, except now
- [picks up salami]
- Miley Stewart: You're a jerk with a headache.
- Jake Ryan: [n a suit of armor] I don't have a-
- [Miley holds up salami and smiles]
- Jake Ryan: Oh no.
- [puts mask on his suit of armor down and holds up his shield]
- Miley Stewart: Oh yes!
- [hits him with salami until he leaves]
- Ashley dewitt: Hey, best friend!
- Miley Stewart: Ashley, are you lost?
- Ashley dewitt: Oh, Miley, you're SO funny!
- Miley Stewart: Mean girl say what?
- Robbie Stewart: [Miley is about to throw a muffin] Not the chocolate chip ones! Use the bran, no one eats those.
- Jackson Stewart: [to Rico, after he criticized his surf shop, saying IHOF, "international house of failure"] Well, maybe I will! But instead, I'll call it, International House of Reasonably Priced Water! And Fries! And... Stuff! IHORPWAFAS!
- [Rico starts leaving]
- Jackson Stewart: Yeah, yeah! Hear the name and tremble, Rico! IHORPWAFAS!
- Oliver Oken: Well maybe because at Rico's you get over priced hot dogs, right? And here, you get half-priced food poisoning.
- Oliver Oken: I was supposed to take this to the Precinct for the other cops. But, now you got the meat with the cheese, it's not kosher. Oh, Detective Schwartz is gonna go all mashugana.