My Best Friend's Girl (2008)

Alec Baldwin: Professor Turner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Professor Turner : She fucks like an epileptic at a strobe light convention.

• Professor Turner : The truth will set you free but before it does; It's gonna piss you off!

• Professor Turner : See I always knew your mom was the best it was ever going to get for me. And I never asked the more important question which is, was I the best it was ever going to get for her?

• Professor Turner : One of my teaching assistants and a very, very hard working woman.

  [teaching assistant exits] 

  Professor Turner : Last night I fucked her to within an inch of her life. True story. I'm champin' her, head through the headboard, and I flip her over and she screams give me a choker. I play the choir boy and say what's that? Starwiped her five minutes later and she's bugging like an epileptic at a strobe light convention. Now I'm getting scared and as I'm working out the 911 phone call in my head she goes

  [makes farting noise motioning away from mid section] 

  Professor Turner : like an airbag. And that was Tuesday night.

• Professor Turner : Making love? what is wrong with you? what is this some red book interview?