Helluva Boss (2019– )
Brandon Rogers: Blitzø, Additional Voices, Doctor, Loopty Goopty
Photos
Quotes
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Blitz : So, what can I do you for this time, Stolas?
Stolas : There's a political candidate casing trouble up on Earth for a few of my associates. He's trying to convince people global warming exists.
Blitz : Doesn't it?
Stolas : Well, yes, but more people die if nothing is done about it. And it gets lonely here.
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Loona : [Cellphone receives a message] Oh fuck, guys I just got a text from our client. Guess he was the right target after all.
Blitz : Who?
Loona : Him.
Bratty Kid : Me?
Loona : Yep.
Blitz : They wanted us to kill an actual child?
Loona : That's what they're saying.
Blitz : Well, Christ on a stick, I guess there is a god!
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Nurse 1 : Doctor, he's not responding!
Nurse 2 : Cool water, stat!
[Nurse 1 whacks kid in the face with a bucket of water]
Nurse 2 : It didn't do anything!
Doctor : Damn it! I'm not losing another one.
[Everyone has their zappers over the kid]
Doctor : Clear!
[They all zap the kid and he wakes up]
Doctor : Holy shit, it actually worked!
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Blitz : Look, the point is Loona is a valued member of our family, and you don't get rid of family.
Moxxie : We aren't a family, sir! You are the boss, we are the employees. You treat her like she's some troubled teenager, she's more like a meth-addicted homeless woman you let man the phones!
Blitz : That is offensive. Without homeless people I wouldn't have half the joy and laughter I do in this life.
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Moxxie : Does immaturely insulting me make you feel better about your sad, single life?
Blitz : It actually does.
Loona : The only reason you have a wife is because you're easy to manage.
Millie : No he's not, you bitch!
Blitz : Do not talk to my receptionist that way, she's sensitive!
Loona : Yes I am!
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Blitz : Alright, now I know business has been a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, OK? I'm not naming any names here.
[looks at Moxxie]
Blitz : Moxxie. Now does anyone have any bright ideas on how we can get business drumming up again?
Millie : What about a car wash?
Blitz : This is hell, Millie. No one cares about cars being cleaned here, OK? Ooh, what about a billboard?
Moxxie : We can't afford a billboard, sir.
Blitz : Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now.
[pushes Moxxie away]
Blitz : Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?
[Blitz turns on a TV that shows everyone killing people. Then it zooms out to everyone watching the TV]
Blitz : Aah, those were the good times.
