"Der Alte und die Nervensäge" is a German television film from 2020, so this one is four years old now and the literal translation means pretty much "The old man and the pain in the neck". Well, the last part describes the young protagonist here and this is definitely true when it comes to him, however also about the actors and I am sure the makes of this film did not want that to happen. But first things first: The director is Uljana Havemann. If you look at other stuff she did, then it is safe to say pretty that if this is the level of filmmaking you are on when almost 50 years old, there is very little hope for things to ever get better. Also a strange break of 16 years in her body of work. You don't see that too often. Unless she manages to step things up considerably soon, maybe this comeback was not the wisest choice. The writer is Nadine Schweigardt. First writing credit for her, not much else to say there. If you take a look at the production company, you read the name Odeon TV. Don't worry if you are not familiar with them because neither am I, but a look at other stuff they worked on makes painfully obvious that you cannot expect good quality here. The thing that definitely gives it away is the inclusion of the distributor. Once again it is ARD Degeto Film, the perhaps biggest abomination German television has ever seen. They have been in charge of hundreds of abysmal movies over the last decades and many of these films got produced with money that was coerced by the German people. I wish there was another way to say this, but it the sad truth. The good news is that by 2020, when this film got made, the number of films where Degeto was in charge of had already declined considerably. Maybe they will completely vanish one day. It would be a day to celebrate. The only good news is that Degeto films never run for a really long time, but stay slightly under the 90-minute mark. This film here is no exception there.
The big name attached to this project was Jürgen Prochnow, slightly under the age of 80 at that point and you could think it would be the last film of his career, which would have been awful, but actually he returned in 2023 for an international movie starring Pierce Brosnan. But back to this one here: I cannot say anything bad about Prochnow. The writing is poor, but he does what he ca with the character. His portrayal is among the better aspects of the movie. A touch of Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino. The only other actor I can go easy on in here is David Rott. He, just like Prochnow, is so much better than Degeto level and it is sad he appears in films like this. The scene between those two men almost at the very end was a highlight in fact. This was also because at that point child actor Marinus Hohmann was out of the picture already. He was horrible during the entire film. As he was sharing the screen with Prochnow for almost all his scene, it was easy to see that he does not have 10% of the old man's acting skills. However, as films like the Hartmanns movie where he appeared in before, are called smart and funny in Germany, this says it all. Unless Hohmann improves gigantically in the next years, I hope I never have to see him in films again. His line delivery was woeful from beginning to end and sure some lines were written very poorly, but others were alright and even there Hohmann messed up. There are just so many examples where it all goes wrong with him. He was not even lackluster. He was really trying, but the talent was simply not there. So it was also closure in a negative way when he finally stands up to his father there during video chat. He messed up this "happy ending" moment as well.
As for the females, Katja Studt and Karolina Lodyga can be mentioned. In general, I would say that Studt is the worse actress. She has basically had a career packed with Degeto projects for years if not decades and good for her I guess she made all this money despite having no acting talent. Lodyga is also by no means a talented actress, but the material she had here was something that not even the greatest actors on the planet could have pulled off. Take the moment in which she tells Rott's character that it is very justified he is travelling across the country, so he can be near a single mother. How did she even know he was single and how old he was? It is never mentioned by him. Anyway, they were so proud of this abysmal moment there apparently that they had Rott bring that quote back a little later even. Shameful stuff. The moment in which Lodyga acts as if she is having a poor phone connection when talking to her ex-husband was just as cringeworthy. Same about the conflict in the end when they used the old man's blood condition to create some new tension between the two soon-to-be lovebirds. Of course, they had to get in an implied love story there too. Not even the explanation what she had seen at work in terms of blood conditions could make this mess work. I still cannot go easy on Lodyga. I mean she read the script I am sure and she always could have refused the part. The fact that she has more screen time than Studt here results in viewers remembering her cringeworthy parts more too. But the terrible writing also involves minor character. We have an Asian doctor in here played by a former teen sensation in Germany and she checks for a year number on one occasion and the way she does and how she mentions it, it just is not like that in reality. One touch, one look and she has it. Sure thing. Also all that happens during the road trip felt so staged and written and unauthentic, such as the scene with the bride-to-be, the tank stop scene (how did Prochnow's character not see the employee running after them?), the cops' weird behavior (what in God's name was that?) and I could go on and on. The handbrake moment was not good at all either. There is no way the old man in reality would have thought it was really him who did something wrong there. On a completely unrelated note, who would want a wife who is just eager to throw away your stuff and does not care what you think about it, even if it is "only" drumsticks? Complete no-go He really should have left her as he implied that very moment.
The sad thing about the film is that Prochnow does have the talent that with a better script this could have gotten a fairly good movie. And I am not even a fan of "Das Boot" at all, but his range does shine through. The idea with his deceased partner was maybe a bit generic, but if the actor manages to pull it off, then why not go for it. The last show of the film there in the mountainside was nice too, but unfortunately everything else related to the movie, especially all that involved the road trip was unwatchably bad for the most part. When the kid makes references about his genitalia size would have been when people leave the room if this had been a theatrical release. I regretted it a bit that I never stop watching a film before it ends. Oh well, speaking of unwatchable, Jerina Beqiri is the exact opposite of unwatchable. She was surely on the attractive side here. But yeah, the few seconds you could see her were nothing that could remotely rescue this movie. It's the worst rating possible for me. The reunion at the end that was supposed to be touching and where we should be happy was just a joke. All of a sudden, everybody is there out of nowhere and they are happy spending time with one another. What a joke. Degeto is very reliable when it comes to this (absence of) quality. I have to dig really deep here to find good aspects. The use of music was alright, but those songs were of course not original, but classics in general and even there it was a bit ruined by stuff how they showed us the boy liked AC/DC. Such poor writing and delivery again. Overall, the only option for me is to highly recommend you to skip the watch and if you want to see an actually good film about an old grumpy man going on a journey with a boy, I recommend Pixar's "Up"!
The big name attached to this project was Jürgen Prochnow, slightly under the age of 80 at that point and you could think it would be the last film of his career, which would have been awful, but actually he returned in 2023 for an international movie starring Pierce Brosnan. But back to this one here: I cannot say anything bad about Prochnow. The writing is poor, but he does what he ca with the character. His portrayal is among the better aspects of the movie. A touch of Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino. The only other actor I can go easy on in here is David Rott. He, just like Prochnow, is so much better than Degeto level and it is sad he appears in films like this. The scene between those two men almost at the very end was a highlight in fact. This was also because at that point child actor Marinus Hohmann was out of the picture already. He was horrible during the entire film. As he was sharing the screen with Prochnow for almost all his scene, it was easy to see that he does not have 10% of the old man's acting skills. However, as films like the Hartmanns movie where he appeared in before, are called smart and funny in Germany, this says it all. Unless Hohmann improves gigantically in the next years, I hope I never have to see him in films again. His line delivery was woeful from beginning to end and sure some lines were written very poorly, but others were alright and even there Hohmann messed up. There are just so many examples where it all goes wrong with him. He was not even lackluster. He was really trying, but the talent was simply not there. So it was also closure in a negative way when he finally stands up to his father there during video chat. He messed up this "happy ending" moment as well.
As for the females, Katja Studt and Karolina Lodyga can be mentioned. In general, I would say that Studt is the worse actress. She has basically had a career packed with Degeto projects for years if not decades and good for her I guess she made all this money despite having no acting talent. Lodyga is also by no means a talented actress, but the material she had here was something that not even the greatest actors on the planet could have pulled off. Take the moment in which she tells Rott's character that it is very justified he is travelling across the country, so he can be near a single mother. How did she even know he was single and how old he was? It is never mentioned by him. Anyway, they were so proud of this abysmal moment there apparently that they had Rott bring that quote back a little later even. Shameful stuff. The moment in which Lodyga acts as if she is having a poor phone connection when talking to her ex-husband was just as cringeworthy. Same about the conflict in the end when they used the old man's blood condition to create some new tension between the two soon-to-be lovebirds. Of course, they had to get in an implied love story there too. Not even the explanation what she had seen at work in terms of blood conditions could make this mess work. I still cannot go easy on Lodyga. I mean she read the script I am sure and she always could have refused the part. The fact that she has more screen time than Studt here results in viewers remembering her cringeworthy parts more too. But the terrible writing also involves minor character. We have an Asian doctor in here played by a former teen sensation in Germany and she checks for a year number on one occasion and the way she does and how she mentions it, it just is not like that in reality. One touch, one look and she has it. Sure thing. Also all that happens during the road trip felt so staged and written and unauthentic, such as the scene with the bride-to-be, the tank stop scene (how did Prochnow's character not see the employee running after them?), the cops' weird behavior (what in God's name was that?) and I could go on and on. The handbrake moment was not good at all either. There is no way the old man in reality would have thought it was really him who did something wrong there. On a completely unrelated note, who would want a wife who is just eager to throw away your stuff and does not care what you think about it, even if it is "only" drumsticks? Complete no-go He really should have left her as he implied that very moment.
The sad thing about the film is that Prochnow does have the talent that with a better script this could have gotten a fairly good movie. And I am not even a fan of "Das Boot" at all, but his range does shine through. The idea with his deceased partner was maybe a bit generic, but if the actor manages to pull it off, then why not go for it. The last show of the film there in the mountainside was nice too, but unfortunately everything else related to the movie, especially all that involved the road trip was unwatchably bad for the most part. When the kid makes references about his genitalia size would have been when people leave the room if this had been a theatrical release. I regretted it a bit that I never stop watching a film before it ends. Oh well, speaking of unwatchable, Jerina Beqiri is the exact opposite of unwatchable. She was surely on the attractive side here. But yeah, the few seconds you could see her were nothing that could remotely rescue this movie. It's the worst rating possible for me. The reunion at the end that was supposed to be touching and where we should be happy was just a joke. All of a sudden, everybody is there out of nowhere and they are happy spending time with one another. What a joke. Degeto is very reliable when it comes to this (absence of) quality. I have to dig really deep here to find good aspects. The use of music was alright, but those songs were of course not original, but classics in general and even there it was a bit ruined by stuff how they showed us the boy liked AC/DC. Such poor writing and delivery again. Overall, the only option for me is to highly recommend you to skip the watch and if you want to see an actually good film about an old grumpy man going on a journey with a boy, I recommend Pixar's "Up"!
