The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (TV Series)
Episode #1.1 (1981)
Simon Jones: Arthur Dent
Photos
Quotes
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Prosser : But the plans were on display.
Arthur Dent : On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar.
Prosser : That's the display department.
Arthur Dent : With a torch.
Prosser : The lights had probably gone.
Arthur Dent : So had the stairs.
Prosser : But you did see the notice, didn't you?
Arthur Dent : Oh, yes. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign outside the door saying "Beware of the Leopard." Ever thought of going into advertising?
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Ford Prefect : Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.
Arthur Dent : Very deep. You should send that in to the Reader's Digest. They've got a page for people like you.
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Arthur Dent : That man wants to knock my house down.
Ford Prefect : Well, he can do that whilst you're away, can't he?
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Ford Prefect : And no sneaky knocking Mr. Dent's house down while he's away, all right?
Prosser : The slightest thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.
Arthur Dent : Can we trust him?
Ford Prefect : Myself, I'd trust him till the end of the Earth.
Arthur Dent : Yes, but how far's that?
Ford Prefect : About twelve minutes away.
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Ford Prefect : How would you react if I told you that I'm not from Guildford after all, but from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse?
Arthur Dent : I don't know. Why? Do you think it's the sort of thing you're likely to say?
Ford Prefect : Drink up. The world's about to end.
Arthur Dent : This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.
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Ford Prefect : How are you feeling?
Arthur Dent : Like a military academy. Bits of me keep passing out. Ford? If I were to ask you where the hell we were, would I regret it?
Ford Prefect : We're safe.
Arthur Dent : Ah. Good.
Ford Prefect : We're in a cabin of one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.
Arthur Dent : Ah. This is obviously some strange usage of the word "safe" that I hadn't previously been aware of.
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Arthur Dent : Good grief. Is this really the interior of a flying saucer?
Ford Prefect : Yes. What do you think?
Arthur Dent : Well, it's a bit squalid, isn't it?
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Arthur Dent : What are you doing?
Ford Prefect : Preparing for hyperspace. It's rather unpleasantly like being drunk.
Arthur Dent : What's so wrong about being drunk?
Ford Prefect : Ask a glass of water.
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[Arthur Dent looks up "Earth" in the Hitchhiker's Guide]
Arthur Dent : What's it say? "Harmless." Just one word? Harmless?
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[last lines]
Arthur Dent : What the hell's that?
Ford Prefect : Well, if we're lucky, it's the Vogon Guard come to throw us into space.
Arthur Dent : And if we're unlucky?
Ford Prefect : The Vogon Captain might want to read us some of his poetry first.
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Arthur Dent : I like the cover. "Don't Panic". It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anyone's said to me all day.
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Prosser : Mr. Dent?
Arthur Dent : Hello, yes?
Prosser : Have you any idea how much damage this bulldozer would suffer if I were to let it roll straight over you?
Arthur Dent : How much?
Prosser : None at all.
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Mr. Prosser : You can't lie in front of the bulldozers indefinitely.
Arthur Dent : I'm game. We'll see who rusts first.
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Mr. Prosser : Mr. Dent!
Arthur Dent : Hello, yes!
Mr. Prosser : Have you any idea of how much damage that bulldozer would suffer if I just let it roll straight over you?
Arthur Dent : How much?
Mr. Prosser : None at all.
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Arthur Dent : [after they've arrived on board the Vogon ship] If I asked where the hell we were, would I regret it?asked where
Ford Prefect : We're safe.
Arthur Dent : Oh, good.
Ford Prefect : We're in a small galley cabin on one of the ships in the Vogon Constructor Fleet.
Arthur Dent : Ah! This is obviously some strange use of the word "safe" that I wasn't previously aware of.
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Arthur Dent : How did we get here?
Ford Prefect : We hitched a lift.
Arthur Dent : Excuse me! Are you trying to say that we just stuck out our thumbs and some green bug-eyed monster stuck his head out and said "Hi, fellas, hop in, I can take you as far as the Basingstoke roundabout"?
Ford Prefect : Well, the thumb's an electronic sub-ether device, the roundabout's at Barbard's Star, six light-years away, but otherwise that's more or less it.
Arthur Dent : And the bug-eyed monster?
Ford Prefect : [grinning] It's green, yes.
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Arthur Dent : [to Mr. Prosser, talking about the impending demolition of his house] The first I knew about it was when a workman arrived at the door yesterday. I asked him if he'd come to clean the windows, and he said he'd come to demolish the house! He didn't tell me straight away, of course; no, first he wiped a couple of windows and charged me a fiver, *then* he told me!
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Ford Prefect : Hello, Arthur.
Arthur Dent : Ford! Hi, how are you?
Ford Prefect : Fine. Look, are you busy?
Arthur Dent : Well, I've just got this bulldozer to lie down in front of, but otherwise no.
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Arthur Dent : [the Vogan guard has found them] What's that?
Ford Prefect : Well, if we're lucky, it's just the Vogans come to throw us into deep space.
Arthur Dent : And if we're UN-lucky?
Ford Prefect : The captain might want to read us some of his poetry first.