The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Grasshopper Experiment (2007)
Kunal Nayyar: Raj Koothrappali
Photos
Quotes
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Raj Koothrappali : [Raj walks in Leonard and Sheldon's apartment holding his laptop open, with his parents on the screen via a webcam] Leonard, may I present, live from New Delhi, Doctor and Mrs Vyan Koothrappali.
Leonard : [waves cheerfully] Hi!
Dr. Koothrappali : Lift up the camera! I'm looking at his crotch!
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Raj Koothrappali : Ever since I was a little boy, my father wanted me to be a gynecologist, like him. How can I be a gynecologist, I can barely look a woman in the *eye*!
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Raj Koothrappali : [to Sheldon] If you do not stop hitting on my lady, you will feel the full extent of my wrath!
Leonard : I'm not hitting on her!
Lalita : And I am not your lady!
Wolowitz : And you have no wrath.
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Raj Koothrappali : Go ahead, tell my parents why they won't have any grandchildren.
Sheldon : How would I know? Do you have a low sperm count?
Raj Koothrappali : This has nothing to do with my sperm count.
Mrs. Koothrappali : You are wearing the boxers that we sent you, aren't you?
Raj Koothrappali : Yes, Mumi.
Mrs. Koothrappali : Because you know what happens to the samosas when you wear tighty-whities.
Raj Koothrappali : Can we please stop talking about my testicles? Sheldon, tell them what you did.
Sheldon : What did I do?
Leonard : You left with his date. Friends don't do that to each other.
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Sheldon Cooper : I can practically smell the lotus blossoms woven into your ebony hair.
Lalita Gupta : Well thanks. I imagine you smell very nice too.
Sheldon Cooper : I shower twice a day and wash my hands as often as I can.
Lalita Gupta : Really? So do I.
Raj Koothrappali : But you're a dentist. He's nuts.
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Mrs. Koothrappali : Do you remember Lalita Gupta?
Raj Koothrappali : The little fat girl who used to kick me in the samosas and call me untouchable?
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Raj Koothrappali : [after Sheldon leaves with Lalita] What just happened?
Leonard Hofstadter : Beats the hell out of me.
Howard Wolowitz : I'll tell you what happened. I just learned how to pick up Indian chicks.
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Raj Koothrappali : I had such plans. I had dreams. I was going to be the Indira Gandhi of particle astrophysics. But with a penis, of course.
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Raj Koothrappali : Haven't you been listening to me? I cannot talk to women!
Leonard : ...Um, Raj...
Wolowitz : No no, let's see how long it takes him.
Penny : Raj, you say you can't talk to women, but you've been talking to me!
Sheldon : And now we'll never know.