- [reporter Walter Malice requests an interview with Madame on Star Probe]
- Bernadette Van Gilder: Madame, I think it would be a big mistake for you to go on that show.
- Madame: Why, Bernadette? I'm a star and I love to be probed!
- Foster Brooks: I know a fella who's one of the little people, Billy Barty. He's building a lot of condominiums. He's building them to scale for just little people. And you know what else? He's not gonna charge them anything for living in 'em. He's gonna call them Stay Free Mini Pads.