The Penguins of Madagascar (TV Series)

Mort Unbound/Roomies (2009)

James Patrick Stuart: Private, Joey

Photos 

Quotes 

• Skipper : Kowalski, just what are we looking at here?

  Kowalski : Isn't it obvious?

  Private : Looks like a regular old fish to me.

  Kowalski : That's because it is.

  [Private turns to Rico, who shrugs "I don't know"] 

  Skipper : Fantastic. Uh, thanks for clearing that up, Kowalski. Meeting adjourned.

  Kowalski : No, wait! It's a regular fish now, but when I zap it with my super ray, it will be a super fish. When we eat the super fish, we will get stronger bones, denser muscle mass, and best of all, remarkably shiny feathers.

  Skipper : Aces, Kowalski! And here I thought you'd finally cracked.

  [to Rico] 

  Skipper : Keep an eye on him. I think he's finally cracked.

• Skipper : Kowalski tell me you've got that antidote figured out.

  Kowalski : Yeah, I... got nothing. No matter what I do, the formula's molecular structure fails to achieve low-energy orbitals.

  Private : [tastes the antidote]  Hmm, tart. Have you tried adding sugar?

  Kowalski : Private, please. This is an intricate problem that requires that...

  [gasps in realization] 

  Kowalski : Sugar! Of course! That's the answer! The monosaccaride will stablelize the entire solution!

  Skipper : [high-ones Private]  Good work, Private.

  Private : Yes, well, I thought it needed the monostereo... thing.

• Skipper : Stay alert, men. We might not be dealing with 115.384 otters at all. We could be dealing with one enormous mutated 1,500-pound otter.

  Kowalski : Or we could be dealing with six fairly large, semi-mutated 250-pound otters.

  Private : Or 1,500 tiny one-pound otters. Right, Skipper?

  Skipper : I like where your head's at, Private.

  Marlene : Yeah, it's so not an otter.

  Skipper : Is it because of how horribly mutated it is?

  Marlene : What? No! Because it's a walrus.

  Kowalski : For the record, is this walrus mutated in any way?

• Skipper : What you lemurs do with your feet is your own business. But when you terrorize the entire zoo, it becomes ours.

  Private : Um, Skipper, seeing as we turned Mort into the threat, isn't it already our problem?

  Skipper : Not now, Private.

• Marlene : Don't you guys ever knock?

  Kowalski : Skipper thought you should see this.

  Private : The zoo transfer papers.

  Kowalski : According to this, your interloper - er, roommate - arrived in port this morning, on a class-F freigher.

  Marlene : And?

  Private : A class-F freigher is for animals weighing 1,500 pounds or more.

  Kowalski : If the average otter weighs 13 pounds, that means exactly 115.384 otters are headed this way.

• Mort : I'm normal me again... And I like me!

  King Julien : Yes, and I hope you learned a lesson of value. Being a bully is no good.

  Maurice : Wait a minute! You used Mort to bully everyone else!

  King Julien : Maurice, we don't play the blame game here.

  Private : Ahem!

  [King Julien looks up and notices the giant Private glaring at him] 

  King Julien : All of the blame is mine! Just don't sit upon me!

• Joey : Why do you lot want my hay? You blokes don't even eat the stuff.

  King Julien : No, but there's something else I like to do with it.

  [Makes macramé Julien out of a blade of hay] 

  King Julien : Make macrames. Nice, huh?

  Joey : Touch me hair again, and I'll snap you like a pencil

  King Julien : Oh, really? Listen, if there is to be any snapping, it will be you who is the broken pencil, my friend. Mort?

• Skipper : Tell me you've got that antidote figured out.

  Kowalski : Got nothing. No matter what I do, the formula's molecular structure fails to achieve low-energy orbitals.

  Private : [Tastes the liquid]  Tart. Have you tried adding sugar?

  Kowalski : Please. This is an intricate problem that requires that... Sugar! Of course. That's the answer. The monosaccharide will stabilize the entire solution.

  Skipper : Good job, Private.

  Private : Well, I thought it needed the monostereo... thing.

  Kowalski : Eureka! This will do the trick.