The Penguins of Madagascar (TV Series)

Misfortune Cookie/Lemur See, Lemur Do (2009)

Tom McGrath: Skipper

Quotes 

• Skipper : [Groaning]  General Tso and his shrimp beat me tonight. Oh, well played, General.

• Kowalski : When did you get a robot?

  King Julien : Oh, do not be pretending, because I know it was you that sent this machine to mock me. Quit it!

  Skipper : Well, Ringtail, we are working on a mocking you scenario.

  Kowalski : Operation: Mock Julien.

  Skipper : But it's still in the lab. It's still at Mach 2. We like to get to Mach 8 before implementation.

• Skipper : Kowalski, report.

  Kowalski : The robot...

  Rico : Boom.

  King Julien : Aaaagh! What - what has been done by you to my poor Lemmy?

  Kowalski : Well, we... It was an accident.

  Private : We didn't mean to blow him up.

  Rico : Kablamo!

  King Julien : He was the only robot I was ever loving.

  Skipper : We're sorry, Ringtail. We just knew what was best.

  Rico : Kablamo!

  King Julien : Kablowing him up was the best?

  Rico : Kablamo!

  Skipper : Okay, we said we knew what was best. We just didn't do what was best.

  [Julien leaves, crestfallen] 

  Rico : [Sadly]  Kablamo.

• Skipper : Don't play dumb with me, ringtail!

  King Julien : Who says I am playing?

• Private : Skipper, I feel bad about this.

  Skipper : Same here, young Private.

  Kowalski : It's as if there's a deep, dark abyss in the center of your soul, and all that is light and good in the world is slipping into it.

  Rico : Yup.

  Kowalski : This must be what it feels like when you've done the wrong thing.

  Private : We've never done the wrong thing before. I don't like it.

• Skipper : This is madness. Utter madness! That robot has to be decisive, forceful, able to take down an armed space squid from 50 yards.

  Private : Right.

  Skipper : You can't boogie your way out of a Martian invasion. Those space squids play for keeps.

  Private : But what can we do about it?

  Skipper : We need to extract that robot away from Julien's sick schooling, and teach him the penguin way.

  Kowalski : Yes! We are getting a robot!

  Skipper : Affirmative.

  Private : But how do we get the robot away from Julien?

  Mort : [Steps out of the shadows, speaks in onminous tone]  Leave that to me.

  Skipper : Um... okay.

  Mort : [Cheerful]  Really?

• Kowalski : Ah, here we go! We can replace Rico's brain with a wombat's!

  Skipper : How would that help?

  Kowalski : [Holds brain in a jar]  I don't know, but I've got to do something with this.

• Skipper : Rico, get a hold of yourself. Fortunes don't mean anything.

  Private : But Skipper, yours did.

  Skipper : That's called the exception that proves the rule.

  Private : And mine.

  Skipper : The other exception that...

  Private : And Kowalski's

  Skipper : All right, they were exceptional cookies! That still doesn't mean anything.

• Skipper : Guys, we've just made a very spoiled, very obnoxious lemur very happy.

  Private : And that's a good thing... innit?

• Marlene : You want your fortune read, Rico?

  [Rico spits out his fortune and gives it to Mason; Phil reads it and signs something] 

  Mason : Egad, are you sure you're reading that correctly?

  Marlene : What's it say?

  Mason : Uh... your smiles are like rays of sunshine, warm and inviting. My, look at the time, we must dash.

  Skipper : Hold on, chimp! I smell monkey business.

  Mason : You do?

  Skipper : Yeah, I do. Rico, smile.

  [Rico smiles] 

  Skipper : That is not a warm and inviting smile.

  Kowalski : More like creepy and unsettling.

• Mason : I say, would you like Phil and I to read your fortune?

  Skipper : Knock yourself out.

  Mason : [Interpreting for Phil as he signs what the fortune says]  Your decisive skills make you a natural born leader.

  Skipper : That's nice, but what does the cookie say?

  Mason : That is what it says.

  Skipper : Oh. That is one perceptive cookie.