- Meemaw: So you think he's seeing somebody else?
- Georgie Cooper: I don't think I should be talking about this. He's my boss.
- Meemaw: Well, he's my boyfriend, so spill it.
- Georgie Cooper: It's weird when old people say "boyfriend".
- Meemaw: Fine. My lover.
- Georgie Cooper: Well, that's worse.
- Meemaw: Then talk!
- Ms. Hutchins: Hi, George.
- George Cooper Sr: Oh, hey, Ms. Hutchins. I don't think I've ever seen you at a game before.
- Ms. Hutchins: Well, uh, it's Friday, and I promised my therapist I'd try one new thing a week.
- George Cooper Sr: And you picked football. Good for you.
- Ms. Hutchins: I don't suppose Sheldon's here?
- George Cooper Sr: Nah, he doesn't much care for outdoor sports. Or sports. Or the outdoors.
- Ms. Hutchins: I was hoping I'd have someone to sit with.
- George Cooper Sr: Ah, sorry.
- Ms. Hutchins: That's okay. It was my fault for letting myself feel hope.
- George Cooper Sr: You're welcome to watch from the sidelines.
- Ms. Hutchins: Thanks. Watching life go by from the sidelines is kind of my thing.
- Sheldon Cooper: And who says you have to be mature to go to college? I've seen "Animal House".
- Meemaw: You have?
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, I've seen the poster. Those people are not college material.
- Meemaw: Moon Pie, I know you don't like to hear this, but there are some things in life that can only be learned in time.
- Sheldon Cooper: So you must have learned 'em all, huh?
- Meemaw: Get out of my house.
- Sheldon Cooper: If I don't go to college, what am I supposed to do? Spend all my days in high school? How sad is that?
- Ms. Hutchins: Pretty sad.
- Sheldon Cooper: You always did get me.
- Ms. Hutchins: Sounds like you're feeling misunderstood.
- Sheldon Cooper: I am. By Dr. Sturgis, my mother and possibly the entire Vietnamese culture.
- Ms. Hutchins: Do you understand that I'm in a little bit of pain right now?
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, I'm sorry. I should be exhibiting compassion. Aw. Wait, I can do better.
- [trying again]
- Sheldon Cooper: Aw.
- Ms. Hutchins: [sarcasticly] Nailed it.
- Missy Cooper: So, when your bones broke, did you hear a crunch?
- Ms. Hutchins: No.
- Missy Cooper: Did my dad have to give you mouth-to-mouth?
- Ms. Hutchins: No.
- Missy Cooper: I don't know how my mom kisses him.
- George Cooper Sr: [Ms. Hutchins is wheeled into the hospital] Hang in there.
- Ms. Hutchins: I'm hangin'.
- George Cooper Sr: Hey, this'll be quite a story to tell your grandkids, huh?
- Ms. Hutchins: I live alone. I'm single. I don't think grandkids are in the picture.
- George Cooper Sr: Oh. Well, I... I got a wife, kids. It's... it's overrated.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm really sorry, mom.
- Mary Cooper: I forgive you. But just because you straightened things out with Dr. Sturgis doesn't mean you're going back to college.
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes, it does.
- Mary Cooper: No, it doesn't.
- Sheldon Cooper: I hope you know you're jeopardizing our relationship.
- Mary Cooper: I will take that risk.
- [kissing him good night]
- Mary Cooper: Good night.
- Sheldon Cooper: You know I'll eventually wear you down.
- Mary Cooper: We'll see. I'm pretty tough.
- Sheldon Cooper: [narrating] I eventually wore her down. There's just so much of me anybody can take.
- George Cooper Sr: [after one of his players bowls Ms. Hutchins over] Don't worry, we're gonna get you taken care of.
- Ms. Hutchins: If I die, tell my therapist I hate him.
- Sheldon Cooper: And then my mother said I wasn't mature enough for college. Can you believe that?
- Tam: Absolutely.
- Sheldon Cooper: So you're on their side, too?
- Tam: I'm Vietnamese. In my culture, until your parents die, you're basically a baby.
- Sheldon Cooper: Really?
- Tam: My grandmother still treats my dad like a child. At dinner, he can't sit until she sits and he can't speak until spoken to.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, I'm glad I'm not Vietnamese.
- Tam: It's not as fun as I make it look.
- George Cooper Sr: How'd we do?
- Coach Wilkins: You didn't miss anything.
- George Cooper Sr: That bad?
- Coach Wilkins: I can safely say you saw the best hit of the night.
- Meemaw: They ever leave the store together?
- Georgie Cooper: Can I please just go to bed?
- Meemaw: Just answer the damn question.
- Georgie Cooper: I feel like I'm gonna get fired for this.
- Meemaw: Georgie, don't worry. Anything you say is gonna stay right here.
- Georgie Cooper: But you lie all the time. I learned to lie from you.
- Meemaw: See what a special bond we have? Now answer the damn question!
- Mary Cooper: Well, you can't bring her home to an empty apartment. Bring her here, and we'll look after her until she's back on her feet.
- George Cooper Sr: You sure?
- Mary Cooper: Of course. We'll set her up in Georgie's room.
- George Cooper Sr: Thanks, Mare. See you in a bit.
- Mary Cooper: Hey, George, it's real nice of you taking care of her like this.
- George Cooper Sr: Well, it was kinda my fault.
- Mary Cooper: Kinda? It was all your fault.
- George Cooper Sr: [hanging up] Bye.
- Georgie Cooper: Can I ask you a personal question?
- Meemaw: You're not in my will.
- Georgie Cooper: It's about my girlfriend.
- Meemaw: Uh-oh.
- Georgie Cooper: Uh, nothing bad. It's just, I've been seeing Jana for a while now, and I like her fine... but it feels like she's getting more serious than I want to be.
- Meemaw: Georgie, until you're married, you are not tied down to anybody. You just go ahead and do whatever you want. Play the field. Have some fun.
- Georgie Cooper: Interesting. That's what Dale said, too.
- Meemaw: Oh, did he?
- Georgie Cooper: Yeah.
- Meemaw: My boyfriend?
- Georgie Cooper: Yeah.
- Sheldon Cooper: You're so lucky.
- Ms. Hutchins: You're gonna have to walk me through that.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, you don't have anyone in your house telling you what you can or can't do.
- Ms. Hutchins: Right, Sheldon. I don't have anyone.
- Sheldon Cooper: I just said that. Are you becoming a drug addict already?
- Ms. Hutchins: You've been so kind to welcome me into your home.
- George Cooper Sr: Well, it's the least we could do.
- Ms. Hutchins: It's so nice to be around a family like this.
- [beginning to cry]
- Ms. Hutchins: I've been alone for... so long. Honestly, if it weren't for the cats, I'd have no one. Oh, wait. The cats! I abandoned Edgar and Allan!
- George Cooper Sr: Edgar and Allan?
- Ms. Hutchins: Poe ran away. Would you please go feed them and tell them I love them?
- George Cooper Sr: Uh... Any chance this could wait 'til morning?
- Georgie Cooper: So you just put her in my room without consulting me?
- George Cooper Sr: Consulting you? Who cares what you think?
- Georgie Cooper: Well, I ain't gonna sleep on the couch.
- Mary Cooper: It's just for a few nights until she can take care of herself.
- Georgie Cooper: Can I at least stay at Meemaw's?
- George Cooper Sr: If you promise not to come back.
- Georgie Cooper: Why you got to be so mean to me?
- George Cooper Sr: It just feels right.
- Mary Cooper: Sheldon, I understand why you're upset, but you still owe him an apology.
- Sheldon Cooper: Then you don't understand.
- Mary Cooper: Well, for now, it sounds like you two could use a little quiet time.
- Sheldon Cooper: Fine. I'll switch over to Dr. Linkletter's class. He's a foot taller than Sturgis and can reach more of the chalkboard.
- Mary Cooper: What I meant was... maybe it's time to take a break from your college classes.
- Sheldon Cooper: What? Why? I've gotten straight A's.
- Mary Cooper: I know you're smart enough for college. I'm just not sure you're mature enough.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, it appears you've backed me into a corner. I would throw a tantrum right now, but that would just prove your point.
- Mary Cooper: [he stands to leave] Where are you going?
- Sheldon Cooper: To play with my trains. Which may sound immature, but it's a hobby many old men enjoy.
- Mary Cooper: Why were you gone for so long?
- George Cooper Sr: [his face is covered with scratch marks] I don't want to talk about it.
- Meemaw: Good mornin'.
- Georgie Cooper: Morning.
- Meemaw: Did you sleep good?
- Georgie Cooper: Yeah.
- Meemaw: Want some pancakes?
- Georgie Cooper: Sure.
- Meemaw: Just one more question about Dale.
- Georgie Cooper: Bye.
- Sheldon Cooper: How long do I have to sit here and sulk before someone asks me what's wrong?
- Mary Cooper: Maybe people are tired of hearing about it.
- Sheldon Cooper: Ms. Hutchins, would you care to chime in?
- Ms. Hutchins: Oh, I - I don't want to get in the middle of a family issue, but... I will say that I once had a falling-out with someone very close to me.
- Sheldon Cooper: What happened?
- Ms. Hutchins: We ended up parting ways on bad terms. I - I still regret it.
- Sheldon Cooper: But you were right and they were wrong?
- Ms. Hutchins: You know what? It doesn't feel like it matters anymore. And not a day goes by that I don't miss them.
- Sheldon Cooper: Perhaps I do owe Dr. Sturgis an apology.
- Ms. Hutchins: I was talking about your mother.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'll circle back to her.
- George Cooper Sr: There we go. Nice little bite-sized pieces.
- Ms. Hutchins: Thanks, George, but I - I think I can manage.
- George Cooper Sr: No, no. My pleasure.
- Missy Cooper: He feels so guilty, he'll do anything you ask him.
- George Cooper Sr: That's enough from you.
- Missy Cooper: He bought me an Easy-Bake Oven when he closed the car door on my thumb.
- Sheldon Cooper: Unlike my mother, who feels no guilt after hurting her children.
- Mary Cooper: How dare you! I am trying to keep you safe until such a time as you can make adult decisions.
- Sheldon Cooper: I can make them now.
- George Cooper Sr: Hey! Hey! We have a guest. Let's pretend like we like each other.
- Mary Cooper: I can't believe you got through to him.
- Ms. Hutchins: Happy to help.
- Missy Cooper: So, who was the person you had the fight with?
- Ms. Hutchins: It was my cat, Poe. She ran away when I switched to dry food. It was cheaper.
- Coach Wilkins: How's she doing?
- George Cooper Sr: Well, not bad. Could be worse. A little whiplash, couple of bruised ribs, broken arm... and collarbone. But that's it.
- Coach Wilkins: Pretty funny how you jumped out of the way and let her get clobbered.
- George Cooper Sr: I did not jump out of the way!
- Coach Wilkins: Oh, yeah, you did.
- [snickering]
- Coach Wilkins: They got you on tape.
- George Cooper Sr: Okay, fine. But that was pure instinct. Besides, she shouldn't have been standing on the sidelines.
- Coach Wilkins: Why was she there?
- George Cooper Sr: [a little embarrased] I told her she could.
- Coach Wilkins: [laughing] Oh, man! You must feel terrible.
- George Cooper Sr: Yeah, of course I do.
- Coach Wilkins: I mean, it's *all* on you.
- George Cooper Sr: You done?
- Coach Wilkins: Oh, baby, I'm just getting started.
- Mary Cooper: [on the phone] I see, Dr. Sturgis.
- [glancing at Sheldon]
- Mary Cooper: Yes, that is unforgivable behavior. Okay. Bye.
- Sheldon Cooper: [she hangs up] Did he apologize?
- Mary Cooper: No. He is very upset with you.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, I'm upset with him.
- Mary Cooper: That doesn't excuse you from trying to get him in trouble with Dr. Linkletter.
- Sheldon Cooper: Who else was I supposed to tattle to? I doubt his mother's still alive.
- [last lines]
- Local TV Newscaster: In local news, Friday night's football game was marred by a brutal injury when football coach George Cooper saved himself at the expense of beloved school librarian Cheryl Hutchins.
- George Cooper Sr: Oh, no.
- Local TV Newscaster: We warn you, the following footage is hard to watch.
- George Cooper Sr: Well, then don't show it!
- Local TV Newscaster: [the clip plays] Let's see it again in slow motion.
- George Cooper Sr: This is not news!