Zookeeper (2011)
Nick Nolte: Bernie the Gorilla
Photos
Quotes
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Bernie the Gorilla : I didn't do it, you know.
Griffin Keyes : I'm sorry?
Bernie the Gorilla : I didn't attack him.
Griffin Keyes : Oh, yeah, he says you did though.
Bernie the Gorilla : He's a liar, okay? He never treats us with any respect. To get us to move, he prods us with a long stick with a nail in the end of it. One day, I guess I wasn't walking fast as he wanted me to, so he swung the stick at me, but I caught it, and he slipped and fell. He told everyone I attacked him.
Griffin Keyes : Wow, I never knew any of that.
Bernie the Gorilla : And my only mistake was assuming he would tell the truth. I guess that's what humans do. They lie.
Griffin Keyes : Not all humans, Bernie.
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Pizza Guy : Okay, let's review your order. That will be 64 meat lovers pizzas and 32 caesar salads. Can we interest you in our new fudge roll?
Bernie the Gorilla : [Bernie turns to Barry who shakes his head yes] Yes.
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TGIF Waitress : And you, sir?
Bernie the Gorilla : Thirty oranges.
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Bernie the Gorilla : [after seeing T.G.I. Friday's in person for the first time] Shut up.
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Bernie the Gorilla : Wait a second, what the heck is Benihana?
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Bernie the Gorilla : [as Griffin goes in Shane's house] Hey, don't leave me in the van; I'm out of the zoo without my iZod.
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Griffin Keyes : Bern, I gotta do this on my own. I'll sit at another table.
Bernie the Gorilla : You won't even know I'm there. I've got unbelievable mingling skills.
Griffin Keyes : Bernie, you're a gorilla.
Bernie the Gorilla : WOW! I can't believe you just went there.