- Brad Macallam: [greeting Det. Havenhurst at the crime scene] Razzle them, dazzle them. Razzle dazzle them.
- Brad Macallam: [to the guard at the San Diego Naval Hospital] I would like to visit the sick.
- Naval Guard: [confused] Sir, who... who would you like to visit?
- Brad Macallam: The sick. The sick in general.
- Naval Guard: Oh, the General? Uh, well I'm not certain if he's in.
- Brad Macallam: [Advancing towards his mother] Kill me. Kill me now before it happens.
- [Screams]
- Brad Macallam: Kill me!
- Brad Macallam: I mean I'm not going to take your vitamin pills, I'm not going to drink your herbal tea, I'm not going to the sweat lodge with a hundred-and-eight year-old Native American who reads Hustler magazines and smokes Kool cigarettes. I'm not going to discover my boundaries; I am going to stunt my inner growth and I think I shall become a Muslim - call me Faruch.
- [last lines]
- Brad Macallam: Detective, do me a favor - can you include two things in your report? One: forget about flamingos. I see ostriches. I see ostriches running. And two: whatever happened to my basketball?
- Receptionist: [at the hospital] One more time sir, who do you mean by 'the sick'?
- Brad Macallam: Madame - I mean the sick, in general.
- Receptionist: Sir, you can't visit the sick in general.
- Brad Macallam: Can I at least buy a pillow for the sick?
- Brad Macallam: I've found the still point. The unwobbling pivot of the world. Do you know what I mean?
- Detective Vargas: [Responding to an 1144 call] What's an 1144?
- Detective Hank Havenhurst: An 1144 is like somebody's dead. Like very much dead.
- Ingrid Gudmundson: When I play his mother and laid murdered at his feet, he whispered to me 'Twitch your feet. I want to see my mother's feet dancing her to heaven.'
- Ingrid: [Talking to a police officer concerning Brad Macallam's actions] I'm his fiancee, I think I can help!
- Detective Hank Havenhurst: [about Brad Macallam] We'll have to do something. I'm gonna try to talk him out.
- [first lines]
- Detective Vargas: Do you want me to take the wheel Hank?
- Detective Hank Havenhurst: No, no - it's no problem. I've driven halfway across the country with one hand.
- Lee Meyers: [about Brad Macallam] I remember one time he turned to me, a little bit more serious, and said 'I cried in a laundry room for four years until they renovated it and used it for something else.'