Gossip Girl (TV Series)

The Ex-Files (2008)

Penn Badgley: Dan Humphrey

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dan Humphrey : Google revenge, get blairwaldorf.com

• Dan Humphrey : You should put a bell on.

  Chuck Bass : Kinky. I'll think about it.

• Dan Humphrey : Maybe we should stay away from each other for awhile.

  Serena van der Woodsen : Yeah, you're right. You and Amanda should probably go.

  Dan Humphrey : Are you ordering me to leave?

  Serena van der Woodsen : Consider it a suggestion. Why should I go, Dan? These are my friends here, and it's not exactly your kind of place.

• Dan Humphrey : I, uh, I heard your, uh, friend sneak out early this morning.

  Rufus Humphrey : [uncomfortably]  Clare, is it?

  Dan Humphrey : Come on. High heels, concrete loft? Not the blueprint for a stealthy getaway.

• Dan Humphrey : [Jenny wears school uniform]  Hey. You look great, sweetie. You excited for the big first day?

  Jenny Humphrey : Dad, how, uh, set are you on this whole going-to-school thing?

  Rufus Humphrey : Pretty set. Why?

  Jenny Humphrey : The first day of school is draft day. Blair and her merry band of psychos are gonna be on a tear.

  [Rufus glances at Dan] 

  Jenny Humphrey : They categorize girls into two groups: projects and victims. Girls who have the potential to be Blair-ites become projects. And total losers and the girls who have the potential to threaten social order become victims. I was a project last year, and we all know how that turned out.

  [the menfolk just stare dumbly at her] 

  Jenny Humphrey : What?

  Rufus Humphrey : Nothing.

  Dan Humphrey : Totally with you.

  [Jenny sighs and walks out] 

  Rufus Humphrey : [to Dan]  Did you understand any of That?

  Dan Humphrey : I'm so glad I'm not a girl.

• Jenny Humphrey : You'd be the worst PI ever.

  Dan Humphrey : Yeah, I don't wanna be caught off guard. Surprised I haven't seen her.

  Jenny Humphrey : Yeah, especially since you're in the girls' hallway looking for her.

  [Dan chuckles sheepishly] 

  Jenny Humphrey : Just be nice. I'm sure this isn't easy for Serena either.

  [Blair's posse comes walking down the hallway, ignoring Jenny] 

  Jenny Humphrey : It... it was like I didn't even exist.

  Dan Humphrey : Mm. Welcome to my world. It's not so bad once you get used to birds flying into your head and automatic doors never opening.

  Jenny Humphrey : Yeah,

  [chuckles] 

  Jenny Humphrey : I guess it's better to be ignored than tortured, right?