Poultry in Motion: Truth Is Stranger Than Chicken (2008 Video)

Lloyd Kaufman: Self

Quotes 

• Lloyd Kaufman : [on the malfunctioning special effects]  We should rewrite. That's what we should be doing is rewriting, or get it on film so we can see what it is. I beg you to get this thing on film; on tape rather. I beg weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks. Andy should talk to Tom and on no certain terms, right? Andy should talk to Tom and get it straight, get that fucking test-on-test; onscreen now! There's got to be a fucking transformation from The General to that thing! There's gotta be something for people to look at, it cannot be shot-after-shot of spraying brown water or spraying red water. So far, we got two scene: one where red water sprays and one where brown water sprays. You guys have to film it. You guys have to get Andy as producer and maybe Kiel to speak with Tom; that General thing is Tom's responsibility. I've said my peace, I've said it, I've been saying it for weeks: you have to film it, test it or you get shit! You get shlock! You can talk all you want, you can meat all you want, Caleb can be his cocktail-party nice guy, but you gotta get it on tape! You gotta get it on tape! I've said it, for weeks! Brendan said it nicely. There's no other way to do it and I don't want any of it to be slightly diplomatic. I wouldn't blame you if you walked out; I wouldn't blame you one bit if you walked out. I wouldn't, but there's no other way. I don't care, I'd rather you did than not have this again. You film it and see it and it better be good! I know I'm right, I know I'm right, I know I'm right, I know I'm right. I know I'm fucking right!

• Lloyd Kaufman : [coming out of the porta potty]  Don't eat pizza, peanut butter & jelly and jalapeno dip, right before you come to a morning shoot. You wanna see proof?

  [pointing back to the porta potty] 

  Lloyd Kaufman : In there.

• Lloyd Kaufman : [while filming the last shot of the Jared scene]  You're not having a heart attack, are you Joe?

  Joe Fleishaker : I don't think so.

  Lloyd Kaufman : Okay good, so you just faint.

  Joe Fleishaker : Yeah, just...

  Lloyd Kaufman : Alright, alright. If you're really having a heart attack, don't take it seriously. Eitherwise, fuck you.

  Joe Fleishaker : Okay.