- Parker: [about kids in foster care] They're gonna turn out like me.
- Alec Hardison: I like how you turned out.
- Nathan Ford: What happened to you?
- Eliot Spencer: [sporting a split lip and a large shiner on his cheek] Well, how was I supposed to know it was a lesbian bar?
- Anatoly: Where are you from?
- Parker: [balking] Where am I from? Oh, where am I *from*. Uh...
- Nathan Ford: [in her ear piece] Pittsburgh, Detroit, Atlanta...
- Parker: [repeats] Pittsburgh, Detroit, Atlanta...
- Nathan Ford: [in her ear piece] Oh, no, no. I meant to pick *one*.
- Parker: [last lines - to Alec] We're a little more than a team.
- Parker: Hey Nate, I have to tell you something...
- Nathan Ford: Okay, what is it?
- Parker: We have to stop at a Häagen-Dazs...
- Kids: [cheering] Häagen-Dazs!
- Sophie Devereaux: The thing is, y-you have to establish, you know, the main character's dramatic need...
- Nathan Ford: Right.
- Sophie Devereaux: Otherwise there's no emotional payoff in the resolution.
- Nathan Ford: Wait. This-this is a movie about NATO troops being attacked by werewolves. No, there is no emotional payoff!
- Sophie Devereaux: So, how did you know Irina would go for the movie thing?
- Nathan Ford: A European grifter who wants to be an actress? Lucky guess.
- Parker: Quiet there's armed guards at that door
- [Elliot breaks down door with KO'd guys body]
- Sophie Devereaux: No there isn't