- Bart Simpson: Why do we have to go to the rec center? I wanna play with my friends.
- Homer Simpson: When you're older, you'll miss going to these little activities.
- Lisa Simpson: Why aren't you going to these little activities?
- Homer Simpson: Uh, because no one can make me.
- Lisa Simpson: Juliet's father is the utmost John Grisham scholar.
- Juliet Hobbes: He found several hidden plot lines in The Firm, and proved that the real villain in A Time To Kill is the justice system itself.
- Homer Simpson: Told ya, Marge. Told... Ya!
- Lisa Simpson: You can't keep us apart. I'll disobey!
- Marge Simpson: I'm Bart Simpson's mother. You think you know any tricks I haven't seen?
- [after Marge leaves, Lisa sneaks out the window and climbs down the tree, but Marge is waiting beneath with a laundry basket]
- Marge Simpson: Bart Simpson, age 3.
- [after they leave, Bart comes out of a hidden door in the tree, wearing ninja clothes and holding a skateboard]
- Bart Simpson: Bart Simpson, age 10.
- Marge Simpson: Here's a few best friend tips. Always compliment her on her looks, and if a dog barks at you, don't make a big deal about it...
- Homer Simpson: A friendship is just like a marriage. The key is to listen. And if a dog barks at you, don't make a big deal about it.
- Marge Simpson: Homer, I just said that!
- Homer Simpson: Whatever you say, honey. If it makes you feel any better, you said it.
- Dr Hobbes: Oh, Juliet, I'm afraid that this Josh Grobahn is becoming something of an embarrassing obsession! Now, lets listen to the Soundtrack of "The Pelican Brief". Ah, Track 3: Researching the Brief!
- Juliet Hobbes: [Flinching] I hate track 3! I hate it!
- [Runs out]
- Lisa Simpson: I'll get her. Juliet, are you alright?
- Juliet Hobbes: I am now. Do you see them? The Lords and Ladies of Equalia!
- Lisa Simpson: Juliet, you're scaring me just a little bit. Oh, I see them!
- Homer Simpson: Doctor, I hope you don't mind, but I have this growth on the back of my neck?
- Dr Hobbes: I'm... not that kind of Doctor.
- Homer Simpson: Oh, I get it
- [grudgingly hands over ten bucks]
- Dr Hobbes: This is chewing gum.
- Homer Simpson: What a racket!
- Giraffeapus: Hello, I'm a Giraffeapus! I'm uncomfortable in water and on land!
- Co-fairy: And now, hit "shuffle" on the royal iPod.
- Art teacher: [At art class:] Everyone paint me 20 lapses.