- Angelica: What kind of bozo would not put the key in the package?
- Chuckie Finster: I didn't know Bozo worked at the handcuff factory!
- Angelica: Do me a favor; just keep quiet for a while!
- Stu Pickles: Yippee, school's been cancelled!
- Chas Finster: Stu, you're 35 years old. You don't have to go to school anymore.
- Lil DeVille: I'm cold.
- Chuckie Finster: I'm hungry.
- Phil DeVille: I'm cold *and* hungry *and* I think i need a new diaper.
- Phil DeVille: Where do you think Tommy is?
- Lil DeVille: Maybe he got eated by polar bears.
- Phil DeVille: Or wolves.
- Lil DeVille: Or the abobdimbal snowman!
- Phil DeVille: Or a penguin!
- Lil DeVille, Chuckie Finster: A penguin?
- [Phil shrugs]
- Chuckie Finster: I think we gotta go find him.
- Phil DeVille: Why you wanna go find a penguin?
- Angelica: Wait a minute! If this is the North Pole, where's Santa's house? I don't see nuthin'! No toy facto'y, no funny little elves! Not even a lame-o reindeer turd!