Lost in Austen (TV Mini Series)

Episode #1.4 (2008)

Jemima Rooper: Amanda Price

Quotes 

• Lady Catherine de Bourgh : [haughtily]  I shall say what I have to say, and then I shall leave immediately. First, I made it pellucidly clear to you, Mrs. Bennet, over my salt, that I considered the brothers Collins an excellent match for your daughters. Yet you have done nothing to promote the cause. On the contrary, you have abandoned them to a house run by criminally incompetent servants. Well, what do you have to say for yourself?

  [stunned silence] 

  Mrs. Bennet : I say this. You are a prig, madam, a pander and a common bully. And you cheat at cards. Do you suppose you may enter my house and brandish your hat at me thus? I have a mind to turn you upside down and use you to scrape out Ambrosia's sty.

  Lady Catherine de Bourgh : [coldly]  Madam, I take my leave of you.

  Mrs. Bennet : Do! Or I shall take you out and set to scraping.

  [Jane and Amanda try to stop themselves giggling] 

  Mrs. Bennet : Scrape, scrape, scrape I shall go!

  Mr. Bennet : Tally ho, wife!

  Mr Collins : Mrs. Bennet, you must desist.

  Jane Bennet : Oh, be quiet, you silly man. Do you suppose Mama would permit her daughters to be married to your brothers, when before her very eyes is the specimen of you?

  Amanda Price : Mrs. Bennet, that was... bloody marvellous.

  Mrs. Bennet : [modestly]  It *was* refreshing.

• Amanda Price : Wickham. You are a bastard, but you are the right bastard at the right time.

  Mr. Wickham : One does one's best.

• Amanda Price : The rest of us are gonna say goodbye nicely and watch you step through all that plumbing into fictional Georgian England and that'll be it. And then we'll all spend the rest of our lives in therapy. It's going to be fine.

• Amanda Price : I need to use the telephone. I need to call my boyfriend.

  Elizabeth Bennet : Of course.

  [hands Amanda a mobile phone] 

  Amanda Price : [to herself, incredulous]  Elizabeth Bennet is lending me her mobile.

• Amanda Price : Hear that sound, George? Duh-uh-uh-uh! That's Jane Austen spinning in her grave like a cat in a tumble-dryer.

• Mr. Darcy : Are my wits disordered by opium? Where is this dreadful place?

  Amanda Price : This is London. My London.

• Amanda Price : Elizabeth Bennett is lending me her mobile...

• Mr. Wickham : Where am I to sleep?

  Amanda Price : I am grateful to you, George. But where you... put yourself tonight is not my concern. Perhaps you should address yoruself to Mr. Collins.

  Mr. Wickham : I doubt Mr. Collins is equipped to give me satisfaction with regards to this enquiry.

  Amanda Price : Then you must take matters into your own hands. Mine are full.

• Mr. Darcy : Miss Price.

  Amanda Price : Yes. We should celebrate. You asked me a question and I answered it. And we didn't have an argument about it.

  Mr. Darcy : I did not ask you a question. I made an observation, 'Miss Price'. The confirmation of your identity was entirely superfluous. As a result we are now arguing about it. And therefore, you are wrong.

  Amanda Price : That's so sweet. You're actually trying to make me laugh.

  Mr. Darcy : Yes. It shall not occur again.

  Amanda Price : And you're smiling.

  Mr. Darcy : No, no. I only smile in private... when nobody is looking.

• Amanda Price : Look, in the book you don't exactly hit it off - to begin with. Just keep talking. From the talking comes the love.

• Amanda Price : This physician of yours, Mr. Darcy, can he do stitches?

  Mr. Darcy : Stitches? He is not a dressmaker!

• Elizabeth Bennet : The door does not oblige.

  Amanda Price : It bloody well does oblige! This is Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet coming through for God's sake!

• Amanda Price : Don't worry about Charlotte. She's gone to be a missionary in Africa!

  Elizabeth Bennet : Africa? What have I done? It was a joke between us when we were children - that if life became irreparably miserable and lonely, one can always run away to Africa...

• Amanda Price : Normal transmission is resumed.

  Elizabeth Bennet : What an insufferable, rude man!

• Amanda Price : The two of you are in the right place at the right time. At the same time.

  Elizabeth Bennet : Miss Price... the necessary links that must be forged - the connections of mutual understanding - they cannot be conjured so.