Death at a Funeral (2010)

Chris Rock: Aaron

Photos 

Quotes 

• Aaron : Let me get this straight: our father was romantically involved with a guy that could fit in his pocket, and you're mad because he's white?

• Ryan : Look at Martina, man the girl's all grown up.

  Aaron : You mean little Martina? She's like in the 12th grade.

  Ryan : Well she may be in 12th grade, but that ass is in grad school.

• [Brian has brought Aaron's father's coffin inside. Aaron opens the casket and looks inside] 

  Aaron : Brian, who's this?

  Brian : You know, I asked myself the same thing when my dad passed. I said, "Who is this man?"

  Aaron : No, Brian, who is this in the coffin? Because that's not my father.

  Brian : Are you sure?

  Aaron : Are you asking me if I'm sure I know what my father looks like?

  Brian : You know, people make mistakes in times of grief...

  Aaron : Look at the damn body, man!

  [the coffin's revealed to have a deceased, elderly, Asian man inside] 

  Brian : Oh, shit...

  Aaron : [angrily]  You got Jackie Chan in there!

• [the undertakers mistakenly brought the wrong coffin] 

  Brian : We are very scattered today. This type of thing almost never happens.

  Aaron : Almost never happens?

  Brian : I said that out loud?

  Aaron : This is not Burger King, man! You can't just mess up my order!

  Brian : Please just calm down. I think I know where he is.

  Aaron : You think? If my dad's not in this coffin in one hour, then you have to take his place, you got it?

  Brian : Don't worry, I'll get him back. I promise that. He's in one of two places, I think it's the second place...

• [the undertakers bring the right coffin] 

  Brian : I think you'll find that everything's in perfect order.

  Michelle : Oh, so now you want to be professional.

  Aaron : You got your keys? You got your BlackBerry? 'Cause once we bury him, we're not gonna dig him back up just so you can tweet.

  Brian : I'm trying, okay?

• Aaron : [shouting]  My father...!

  [lowers voice] 

  Aaron : My father... was an exceptional man. Did he have his faults? Yeah. But he worked hard for his family. All I wanted to do today was tell him how much we all loved, cherished, and respected him. Is that really too much to ask for? So maybe he loved Dreamgirls more than most men. But hey, life is complicated. We do our best. And Dad, he did his best. One thing he did, was teach us to chase after our dreams. So when you leave here today, I want you to remember him for who he truly was: a loving, kind, gentle man, that never judged anyone, who never cast disparaging remarks or held prejudice against any race, creed, gender...

  [eyes Frank] 

  Aaron : ... or height. And if I turn out to be just half the man that my father was, then the child I'm planning on having with my beautiful wife will be truly blessed. Thank you.