Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People Episode 5: 8-Bit Is Enough (2008 Video Game)

Matt Chapman: Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, The Cheat, Strong Mad, Strong Sad, Coach Z, Bubs, The King of Town, Trogdor, Rather Dashing, Stinkoman, Videlectrix Matt, Limozeen, Innkeeper, Peasants, Browntant, Chorch

Quotes 

• Strong Bad : First the burnination of Strong Badia... now I've got HomeSpam! Trogdor, you messed with the wrong player character this time! I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I have no other choice... I must... kill... *Trogdor*! Uhh... Anybody know how to kill a dragon?

• Strong Bad : [to Stinkoman]  Cool, cool robot boots!

  Stinkoman : I know, I know, I know! They make me jump at real high! Plus, all the girls think I'm a boy! But I think they all need to grow up! And I can kick!

  Strong Bad : [annoyed]  Okay! Man, shut up!

  Stinkoman : *You* shut up! You're dumb! And your head is wide like the river! You have the river head!

  [He laughs as he stomps his robot-boot-clad feet] 

• Strong Bad : [seeing Homestar in a pop-up window]  Homestar? Where are you?

  Homestar Runner : I'm in your interface. Pretty cool, huh?

  Strong Bad : [irritated]  Well, get out! I've got enough to worry about without you gettin' all up in my HUD like some kinda pop-up spam!

  Homestar Runner : Yeah, that's a problem. I think I'm stuck in this video game unless you can find a way to get me out. By the way, did you know that Total Load can enlarge your vectroid region by 27 percent? Click here to find out how!

• [Strong Bad discovers that Trogdor has burninated Strong Badia] 

  Strong Bad : [in disbelief]  *Trogdor*? NOOOOO! Bad Trogdor! Heel!

  [Trogdor breathes fire toward Strong Bad, but misses, then runs off] 

  Strong Bad : [anguished]  My poor kingdom! You were never supposed to burninate *my* countryside! I thought we were BFFs!

  [to the camera] 

  Strong Bad : That's Burninating Friends Forever.

• Strong Bad : [to Strong Sad]  Hey, what happened to Trogdor? I expected him to be pummeling and/or burninating you by now.

  Strong Sad : I told him my plant Charlemagne was a defenseless peasant baby and threw it out the window! When he went after it, I locked the door behind him! That thing is out of control! You've got to get a new logic board and stop him!

  Strong Bad : Stop him? No, no, it's pronounced "Cheer him on".

• Strong Bad : [about the logic board to stop Trogdor]  What's this "logic board" you're babbling about?

  Strong Sad : When you broke the machine...

  Strong Bad : We never established who broke what!

  Strong Sad : ...you must've damaged the 8-Bit Containment field. You'll have to call Videlectrix for a replacement. It's the only way for Trogdor to get safely back into the game!

  Strong Bad : Why would I want to get him BACK in the game? Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to have my own dragon?

  Strong Sad : If Trogdor gets free, the videogame world and the real world will merge! Imagine hearing the repetitive, monophonic music of 8-bit games wherever you are, every second, for the rest of your life!

  Strong Bad : Yeah, I know! That sounds awesome!

  [Strong Sad then mimics 8-bit video game music and annoys Strong Bad] 

  Strong Bad : All right, I'll fix the machine.

• [a roar comes from inside the "Trogdor!" arcade cabinet] 

  Strong Sad : It sounds like the fan's broken. You'll have to get it serviced.

  Strong Bad : Serviced? Where am I supposed to get fan service around here?

  [the cabinet grows wings, legs and a beefy arm, and then chases Strong Sad out of the room] 

  Strong Bad : That may be... the coolest thing... that has ever happened.

• Strong Bad : The Cheat, you know you gotta ask permission before you can play with or be around the Fun Machine. Especially when it's to put crap like *this* in there. Gel-Arshie's Pro Fruitboarder? That's the promo shovelware I got for sending in the proofs of purchase from all that Jela-Ton I won in the Race to the End of the Race! Those things are *never* any good! Say it with me, The Cheat...

  Strong Bad , The Cheat : [in unison]  Licensed video games are never good.

• [Marzipan, who has an exaggerated expression of rage, kidnapped Bubs and took him atop his own concession stand] 

  Strong Bad : [observing the ordeal]  What was THAT all about?

  Bubs : All kinds of weird goings on, Strong Bad! There was that big flickerin' and flashin' in the sky, and then Marzipan went plumb loco balonco!

  [Marzipan throws several crates] 

  Bubs : See what I mean?

  [Homestar appears in the pop-up window] 

  Homestar Runner : Oh, is Marzipan having one of her "episodes" again? You just gotta pretend you're listening to her. Let me handle this.

  [he teleports over to the enraged Marzipan and speaks in a half-hearted voice] 

  Homestar Runner : Yes, Marzipan. You're right of course. Good point.

  [Marzipan throws crates at Homestar but misses] 

  Homestar Runner : Missed me! You call that a throw? Give 'er the old one-two!

  [Marzipan throws yet another crate, which lands on a bush on the ground] 

  Strong Bad : Hey, that was my favorite bush! I wonder what's behind there...

• Strong Bad : [arriving in Peasantry]  Check this place out! I'm in a video game! Oh, man, does that mean I can bash stuff with my head to find coins?

  [he bashes his head on a nearby tree, only to hurt himself] 

  Strong Bad : Ow! Guess not.

• [Strong Bad's house is haunted by pixelated ghosts] 

  The Cheat : [terrified The Cheat noises] 

  Strong Bad : The Cheat, did you unleash vengeful spirits into the house again?

• Strong Bad : Hey, it's Rather Dashing, star of "Peasant's Quest"! Looking blocky and pixely as ever, Rath. Say, I always wanted to ask: what's up with the short pants?

  Rather Dashing : These things are incredibly comfortable! I'd like to see you "get rock" or "throw baby" while wearing long pants.

  Strong Bad : Fair enough.

• [Strong Sad is in Peasantry, wearing a princess hat, guarding the entrance to Trogdor's lair; Strong Bad tries to walk past him] 

  Strong Sad : Hark, who goes there? Leave this place now, lest I, the evil wizard, Sluushfuund, be forced to cast an evil spell on you.

  Strong Bad : [amused]  Uh-huh, I think they mixed up your order at the costume palace, Prom Queen! They must've made a mistake.

  Strong Sad : It's fate! I was sitting in my room alone...

  Strong Bad : As always...

  Strong Sad : ...when a blinding flash of light knocked me off my feet! I woke up here in the land of Peasantry, obviously dressed as a powerful, evil wizard!

• Strong Bad : Why do they call you "Stinkoman"? Seems a little harsh.

  Stinkoman : Why do they call *you* Dumb Face?

  Strong Bad : [unamused]  Um, they don't.

  Stinkoman : Is it because your face is dumb and at the same time you have a dumb face?

  Strong Bad : [irritated]  No one calls me that.

  Stinkoman : Maybe they should call you Dumb Butt Face, because your face and your butt are both dumb!

  [He laughs as he stomps his robot-boot-clad feet] 

  Stinkoman : Robots, ah ha!

  Strong Bad : Stinkoman it is.

• [Strong Bad releases a captured Limozeen bus near Bubs' Concession Stand, where a game-affected Marzipan holds Bubs captive] 

  Strong Bad : Fly, my hair metal rockers! Be free!

  [the bus hovers above the stand] 

  Larry Palaroncini : [inside the bus; seeing Marzipan]  Moderately hot babe-lien off the port bow!

  [the bus captures Marzipan with a tractor beam] 

  Larry Palaroncini : Oh, crap! It's that crazy chick from the Battle of the Bands! Ow! Stop throwin' those crates, pretty mama! Ow!

  [the bus flies off] 

  Bubs : [relieved]  Thought she'd NEVER leave!

• Strong Bad : [giving Strong Mad the trophy]  Alrighty, Comrade Shotski. On behalf of the Videlectrix Gaming Association, I present to you this trophy for Superior Halfathery in the Videlectrix Halfathlon.

  [Homestar appears in the pop-up window and hums a fanfare] 

  Strong Mad : [ecstatic]  PUT SHOT SHOT PUT TROPHY! SOLZHENITSYN! GLASNOST!

  Strong Bad : [impatiently]  Yeah, yeah, ich bin ein donut. Are you joining my party or what?

  Strong Mad : DA! DA!

  [Strong Mad joins Strong Bad's party] 

• Strong Bad : [taking the TrogSword; ecstatic]  AHA! By the power of EGA, extended memory management, raster interrupt 6, Hold and Modify, and the mighty Mode 8, the power of the TrogSword is MINE!

  [Homestar pops up in the interface, just as happy] 

  Homestar Runner : Yay! You got the sword! Now you can slay the dragon!

  Strong Bad : More importantly, I'll be able to keep you from popping up and interrupting all my future scheduled make-out sessions!

  Homestar Runner : Uh... I've got access to your online calendar in here and I don't see any scheduled make-out sessions. Just pedicures and bubble baths.

  Strong Bad : [nervously]  Yeah... that's code for "make-out session"! Just get outta here! And quit touching my stuff!

  [victoriously] 

  Strong Bad : The fabled TrogSword is MINE!

• Strong Bad : [to Stinkoman about the TrogSword]  Hey, how do I get up there? I need that sword!

  Stinkoman : [stomping his robot-boot-clad feet and laughing]  No way. You couldn't handle that sword! I'm gonna get that sword for myself, just as soon as I'm finished toying with *these* guys!

  Strong Bad : Come on, man, that's so not cool.

  Stinkoman : [laughing and stomping his feet, pointing to Strong Bad]  One day, you'll get your baby turn. For babies! Who have a turn!

• [Bubs is being attacked by Marzi-kong] 

  Strong Bad : You gotta help me fix that Trogdor machine, Bubs. I think Strong Sad broke the "logic board" or something.

  Bubs : The logic board? Well, that explains everything! You must've broken the 8-Bit Reality Containment Field, causing our universe to combine with the world of videro games!

  Strong Bad : That's right, STRONG SAD did that. Can you fix it for me? I mean, him?

  Bubs : Oh, I've been fixin' logic boards since before you were in double diapers! I can even make it so you can play those foreign-type imported games! But I won't be able to do jack OR squat until you do something about that crazy crate lady!

• [Strong Bad accidentally crashes into the Trogdor arcade cabinet, breaking it and causing it to spark; Strong Sad watches] 

  Strong Bad : Now look what you did, Dumpa-lumpa! The Trogdor machine is ruined!

  Strong Sad : What I did? This thing hasn't worked for months! Besides, YOU broke it! Everybody saw!

  Strong Bad : Look, this is no time to be pointing fat, doughy fingers. This is the time for you to figure out how you're gonna fix it.

• Strong Bad : Wait here, Junior, I've got a reanimated arcade machine to take care of.

  Strong Sad : Just you? You'd have to be some type of idiot to take on Trogdor alone.

  Strong Bad : What? You said all I have to do is replace some kind of logic board and everything'd be fine. I just need to remember where I put the key to open the Trogdor machine, then grab a logic board somewhere and pop it in! How hard can that be?

  Strong Sad : Plenty! But since you never listen to me and you're probably going to do it anyway, take this case key. It's the only way to open the cabinet.

  [he gives Strong Bad a key] 

  Strong Bad : Wait, you've had MY key that opens the Trogdor cabinet this whole time?

  Strong Sad : Well, yes, but I was only holding on to it so you wouldn't lose it, like you did with your baby bwankey and your...

  Strong Bad : Shut up! Shut up nine times!

• Strong Bad : [finding Homestar's phone in his room]  I probably shouldn't have dialed the Ukrainian Weather Update Line and left it on all these months.

  Ukrainian Operator : Is still very cold.

  Strong Bad : I hope Homestar's got some crazy rollover minutes.

• Strong Bad : No way am I going near the Lappy while the house is haunted. I could get sucked into the screen or something.

  Homestar Runner : [appearing in Strong Bad's interface]  I heard that's how the Bad Graphics Ghost started.

• [Bubs is trying to rebuild his concession stand with Marzipan's help, but the Trogdor arcade cabinet is proving a distraction] 

  Bubs : [to Strong Bad, crankily]  Tell that machine to stop all that yappin'! We're trying to get some work done here!

  Strong Bad : Why aren't you behind the stand, Bubs? I got lots o' bootleg VHS movies I want to trade in.

  Bubs : We're closed for remodeling, Strong Bad. I gotta fix all the damage YOU did while you were making your movie.

  Strong Bad : So why is Marzipong here? Protesting the construction?

  Marzipan : Hmpf. Shows how much YOU know, Strong Bad. I'm making sure he does everything to code. I DO have an architectural engineering degree, you know.