Mister Ed (TV Series)

Taller Than She (1963)

Alan Young: Wilbur Post

Quotes 

• The Blacksmith : Your horse need new shoes?

  Wilbur Post : Yes... corrective horseshoes.

  The Blacksmith : Corrective horseshoes?

  Wilbur Post : Yes, I want them thickened a bit.

  The Blacksmith : Oh, I see. You want me to make them more think and raise them up a little, like an eighth of an inch?

  Wilbur Post : Oh, more then that. About six inches.

  The Blacksmith : Well, that shouldn't be any... six inches? Why, that horse will be looking like he's standing on stilts.

  Wilbur Post : That's okay. The taller he is the better.

  The Blacksmith : Why do you want your horse to look taller?

  Wilbur Post : Well... uh... he's in love with this filly, and she's taller then he is.

  The Blacksmith : So?

  Wilbur Post : Well, you know how embarassing that can be.

  The Blacksmith : To whom?

  Wilbur Post : To my horse.

  The Blacksmith : Huh?

  Wilbur Post : I mean, how would you like to go dancing with this woman and she's taller then you?

  The Blacksmith : Your horse wants to go out dancing?

  Wilbur Post : No no no, he just wants to meet her. Penelope's from England and she only goes out with taller horses. That's the filly I'm talking about. She's about three inches taller then my horse, Ed.

  The Blacksmith : Mister, you know what I would do if I were you?

  Wilbur Post : What?

  The Blacksmith : [sarcastic]  Get the other horse to wear flats!

• [after being fitted with his new lift shoes, Mister Ed is grunting and struggling to move] 

  Mister Ed : Uh! Wilbur, I can't move! These horse shoes weigh a ton!

  Wilbur Post : Come on, Ed. This is no time to be kidding around.

  Mister Ed : Who's kidding? I feel like I'm wearing four buckets of cement.

  Wilbur Post : Oh boy, this is all your fault! You wanted to be taller!

  Mister Ed : But I didn't want to be heavier. What am I gonna do?

  Wilbur Post : What are YOU going to do? What am I going to do? If I don't get home right away, I'll be in terrible trouble with Carol.

  Mister Ed : But I can't even lift a hoof. We'd better go home in a cab.

• Wilbur Post : Look at him. My horse is so loaded down with shoes, he can't move.

  The Blacksmith : Now look, Mr. Post. You wanted me to make your horse look taller? I made him taller. I didn't guarantee he'd be able to walk.

• Mister Ed : Be kind to me, Wilbur. I just lost the love of my life.

  Wilbur Post : If Carol sees all this, you're gonna lose your owner!

  Mister Ed : I'm sorry about all this. I only took all this furniture from your house because I wanted to impress Penelope, but I guess I goofed.

  Wilbur Post : Never mind that. What am I going to tell Carol when she sees all of her new living room furniture here in your stall?

  Mister Ed : Tell her the truth. Tell her I did this.

  Wilbur Post : Oh, fine! I tell her that and I'll spend the rest of my life on the couch. The pscyhiatrist's couch in the local loony bin!