I liked this movie. No, like most, I didn't like the protagonist, but it was nevertheless interesting to watch how a narcissist would portray himself while betraying the people who care for him with his shallowness. I understand the frustration and remarks by other reviewers regarding the shallow portrayal of the wife and prop-like use of the daughter Luna. But that is exactly how narcissists use and look at people in their world.
Was this a story about love? The narcissist tries to spin it that way, by remembering over-the-top romantic adventures with his wife Carmen: the playful nude pick-nick in the farm fields behind the back garden; the Bora Bora holiday; the Carpe Diem traveling tour once she knows she has little time left to live. However, the protagonist reveals early from the get go what he truly cares about: control; which is exactly what personality disordered people want out of any relation - control. All his actions underline how little he actually knows about love: he wants to get married very rapidly (which sounds romantic but has little to do with loving someone); he cheats whenever he can; he starts an actual affair with another woman because he wants sex with a healthy woman who can adore him, instead of spending his actual time with his wife who's wrapped up in her fight with cancer; his narcissistic rages; his breaking of his promises; and to actually bring his new victim to the funeral of his dead wife.
A narcissist cannot bond or feel real empathy for anyone else but themselves, although they will try to appear as if they do. Hence the over-the-top romantic outings, which actually feel shallow, and the appearance of being empathic when they wish to sell themselves - to Rose, his latest conquest, but also the viewer (or reader). Hence also the possible frustration over the distance that remains between Carmen fighting for her life against cancer and the viewer - the narcissist cannot truly empathize with his wife, and he's the one telling the story after all.
I give the protagonist credit to being brutally honest about the cancer process, his womanizing and affair and not leaving Carmen to die alone... And yet I also feel as if the brutal cancer portrayal is part of his pity play - as if I'm supposed to understand it's no wonder he goes running in between the thighs of a healthy woman; and see what a good guy he is after all, since he could have left Carmen and move on with Rose... That's like saying: he could have been a worse bastard... but it doesn't take away the fact that he's still a bastard. And I suspect his dying wife's words of how grateful she is to have been married to him might even be a narcissistic embellishment - my wife forgave me and loved me, so I'm not so bad after all! I actually did feel empathy with Carmen, exactly because she was portrayed in such a factual way. I felt empathy by myself, exactly because the protagonist lacked it so thoroughly - he was incapable of telling the story with empathy, and that made me feel more for her even.
As for Rose and Stijn living a happy ending? No chance! As if he'll ever stop cheating and not start an affair with another woman as soon as Rose fails to give him his narcissistic supply.
Was this a story about love? The narcissist tries to spin it that way, by remembering over-the-top romantic adventures with his wife Carmen: the playful nude pick-nick in the farm fields behind the back garden; the Bora Bora holiday; the Carpe Diem traveling tour once she knows she has little time left to live. However, the protagonist reveals early from the get go what he truly cares about: control; which is exactly what personality disordered people want out of any relation - control. All his actions underline how little he actually knows about love: he wants to get married very rapidly (which sounds romantic but has little to do with loving someone); he cheats whenever he can; he starts an actual affair with another woman because he wants sex with a healthy woman who can adore him, instead of spending his actual time with his wife who's wrapped up in her fight with cancer; his narcissistic rages; his breaking of his promises; and to actually bring his new victim to the funeral of his dead wife.
A narcissist cannot bond or feel real empathy for anyone else but themselves, although they will try to appear as if they do. Hence the over-the-top romantic outings, which actually feel shallow, and the appearance of being empathic when they wish to sell themselves - to Rose, his latest conquest, but also the viewer (or reader). Hence also the possible frustration over the distance that remains between Carmen fighting for her life against cancer and the viewer - the narcissist cannot truly empathize with his wife, and he's the one telling the story after all.
I give the protagonist credit to being brutally honest about the cancer process, his womanizing and affair and not leaving Carmen to die alone... And yet I also feel as if the brutal cancer portrayal is part of his pity play - as if I'm supposed to understand it's no wonder he goes running in between the thighs of a healthy woman; and see what a good guy he is after all, since he could have left Carmen and move on with Rose... That's like saying: he could have been a worse bastard... but it doesn't take away the fact that he's still a bastard. And I suspect his dying wife's words of how grateful she is to have been married to him might even be a narcissistic embellishment - my wife forgave me and loved me, so I'm not so bad after all! I actually did feel empathy with Carmen, exactly because she was portrayed in such a factual way. I felt empathy by myself, exactly because the protagonist lacked it so thoroughly - he was incapable of telling the story with empathy, and that made me feel more for her even.
As for Rose and Stijn living a happy ending? No chance! As if he'll ever stop cheating and not start an affair with another woman as soon as Rose fails to give him his narcissistic supply.