Merry Christmas to all IMDb users, and yes, even to those who have not been too complimentary against my reviews of late. Christmas is after all a time of peace and goodwill.
The 1985 special of 'Scotch & Wry' starts off with a sexy woman in bed lighting a cigarette after just making love. ''Did you enjoy that?'' she says to the as of yet unseen figure. We then cut to see Santa Claus getting dressed. ''Well it makes a change from a glass of milk and a biscuit!''. We are then onto a sketch with Supercop stopping before a large U. F. O which is situated on a street corner under a 'No Parking At Anytime' sign. The green faced alien alights and approaches Supercop. Far from being frightened by the extraterrestrial being, he bluntly tells him ''You can't park here, you're on a double yellow line!''. ''I was forced to land here!'' explains the alien. ''I had trouble with asteroids near uranus!''.
Dirty Dicky Dandruff makes his second and final appearance here in a sketch in which he is seen making a hotpot, however things don't go to plan as we see him unsuccessfully trying to ignite a microwave oven as though he were lighting a gas stove. We then see a man in an R. A. F costume walk past, to which Dicky replies: ''Now I see what's happened, the pilot's just went oot!''.
A man watching television is interrupted by a knock at the door from his local binman who is obviously hinting for a Christmas box. The man refuses to give him money so the binman then upends the man's dustbin contents all over his living room floor until the man relents and gives him some money. However, the binman realises he is at the wrong house. Handing the man his money back, he tells him: ''I'm terribly sorry to have troubled you, your wife paid this morning!''. He then scampers off, leaving the bewildered man standing staring at the disgusting mess left on his living room floor!
Dracula flies in through a set of French windows on a stormy night and sees the figure of a woman lying in bed. Gleefully, he sinks his fangs into the woman's neck. We then hear the sounds of escaping air followed by a rapidly deflating blow-up doll catapulting out of the window!
An elderly woman attends a driving school for what is revealed to be the 79th time. The instructor is extremely reluctant to take her out driving again due to her penchant for dangerous driving however is forced into doing so by the manager. ''Remember the hand signals!'' says the manager to the instructor before he leaves. The instructor then crosses himself in silent prayer.
A man stuffed up with a nasty cold asks a British Rail ticket clerk for a second class return ticket to Nottingham. However the clerk cannot understand him and suggests he buy some Tunes throat lozenges from the kiosk to clear his airways. Returning moments later, he asks again in a much clearer voice for a ticket. ''I'm sorry, the last train left two minutes ago!'' says the clerk as he pulls down the window shutter. Leaving the man standing there staring in bewilderment. The sketch was a parody of an advert for Tunes in which Peter Cleall played the customer with a cold while Robin Parkinson played the ticket clerk. Here Gregor Fisher played the Peter Cleall role while Robin Parkinson's role was played by Rikki Fulton.
A drunk man wakes up in a morgue and thinks he has died after drinking a lethal cocktail consisting of Irn Bru, Windowlene and lighter fluid. However, a nurse comes through an explains that he merely passed out after having too much too drink. Relieved, he gets up to leave. As he makes to go, a corpse raises from under a shroud and says in an ghostly voice: ''Before you go, gonnae get me another one of those cocktails!'' The man stands frozen in horror upon seeing this!
The Reverend I. M. Jolly reveals on air a letter he received from a suicidal parishioner. ''If I had the money, I would take the bus to Erskine bridge and throw myself off!'' reads Jolly. ''Well, I couldn't ignore such a heart wrenching plea from this poor man, so I sent him his bus fare!'' says Jolly.
This 1985 special is quite funny, though the earlier specials, and indeed the ones that would follow, are much better. Some of the sketches, such as the drunk father embarrassing the bride and groom during his speech at their wedding, are rather tedious, equally so is the sketch involving a socially awkward man asking sports pundit Archie McPherson for an autograph, only then to be disappointed to discover that he is not Bamber Gasgoine ( as the man thought him to be ), but there are overall still more solid sketches than there are sloppy. Annette Staines appears in some sketches as supporting female characters. Good to see Claire Nielson again too!
Barbara Dickson's musical interludes here see her singing 'Rising Waters' and 'Soldiers' ( the latter a cover of Abba's 1981 hit ).
Funniest sketch - without doubt the driving lesson sketch. There are too many hilarious one liners to list here but Bob Black's wonderful sketch is brought to life not just by Rikki Fulton but by Claire Nielson as well. The moment in which Fulton has to be dragged onto the set kicking and screaming by Tony Roper was not scripted! Rikki ad-libbed this hilarious moment while is was being broadcast live!
Second funniest sketch - a post closing credits sequence which sees the cast as themselves as though they have just finished watching this episode talking happily amongst themselves until the continuity announcer reveals that 'The Hogmanay Show' is about to start. We then see Rikki frantically picking up the television set and chucking it through the window! Sometimes I feel like doing that when I see Jackie Bird appearing on 'Hogmanay Live'!
The 1985 special of 'Scotch & Wry' starts off with a sexy woman in bed lighting a cigarette after just making love. ''Did you enjoy that?'' she says to the as of yet unseen figure. We then cut to see Santa Claus getting dressed. ''Well it makes a change from a glass of milk and a biscuit!''. We are then onto a sketch with Supercop stopping before a large U. F. O which is situated on a street corner under a 'No Parking At Anytime' sign. The green faced alien alights and approaches Supercop. Far from being frightened by the extraterrestrial being, he bluntly tells him ''You can't park here, you're on a double yellow line!''. ''I was forced to land here!'' explains the alien. ''I had trouble with asteroids near uranus!''.
Dirty Dicky Dandruff makes his second and final appearance here in a sketch in which he is seen making a hotpot, however things don't go to plan as we see him unsuccessfully trying to ignite a microwave oven as though he were lighting a gas stove. We then see a man in an R. A. F costume walk past, to which Dicky replies: ''Now I see what's happened, the pilot's just went oot!''.
A man watching television is interrupted by a knock at the door from his local binman who is obviously hinting for a Christmas box. The man refuses to give him money so the binman then upends the man's dustbin contents all over his living room floor until the man relents and gives him some money. However, the binman realises he is at the wrong house. Handing the man his money back, he tells him: ''I'm terribly sorry to have troubled you, your wife paid this morning!''. He then scampers off, leaving the bewildered man standing staring at the disgusting mess left on his living room floor!
Dracula flies in through a set of French windows on a stormy night and sees the figure of a woman lying in bed. Gleefully, he sinks his fangs into the woman's neck. We then hear the sounds of escaping air followed by a rapidly deflating blow-up doll catapulting out of the window!
An elderly woman attends a driving school for what is revealed to be the 79th time. The instructor is extremely reluctant to take her out driving again due to her penchant for dangerous driving however is forced into doing so by the manager. ''Remember the hand signals!'' says the manager to the instructor before he leaves. The instructor then crosses himself in silent prayer.
A man stuffed up with a nasty cold asks a British Rail ticket clerk for a second class return ticket to Nottingham. However the clerk cannot understand him and suggests he buy some Tunes throat lozenges from the kiosk to clear his airways. Returning moments later, he asks again in a much clearer voice for a ticket. ''I'm sorry, the last train left two minutes ago!'' says the clerk as he pulls down the window shutter. Leaving the man standing there staring in bewilderment. The sketch was a parody of an advert for Tunes in which Peter Cleall played the customer with a cold while Robin Parkinson played the ticket clerk. Here Gregor Fisher played the Peter Cleall role while Robin Parkinson's role was played by Rikki Fulton.
A drunk man wakes up in a morgue and thinks he has died after drinking a lethal cocktail consisting of Irn Bru, Windowlene and lighter fluid. However, a nurse comes through an explains that he merely passed out after having too much too drink. Relieved, he gets up to leave. As he makes to go, a corpse raises from under a shroud and says in an ghostly voice: ''Before you go, gonnae get me another one of those cocktails!'' The man stands frozen in horror upon seeing this!
The Reverend I. M. Jolly reveals on air a letter he received from a suicidal parishioner. ''If I had the money, I would take the bus to Erskine bridge and throw myself off!'' reads Jolly. ''Well, I couldn't ignore such a heart wrenching plea from this poor man, so I sent him his bus fare!'' says Jolly.
This 1985 special is quite funny, though the earlier specials, and indeed the ones that would follow, are much better. Some of the sketches, such as the drunk father embarrassing the bride and groom during his speech at their wedding, are rather tedious, equally so is the sketch involving a socially awkward man asking sports pundit Archie McPherson for an autograph, only then to be disappointed to discover that he is not Bamber Gasgoine ( as the man thought him to be ), but there are overall still more solid sketches than there are sloppy. Annette Staines appears in some sketches as supporting female characters. Good to see Claire Nielson again too!
Barbara Dickson's musical interludes here see her singing 'Rising Waters' and 'Soldiers' ( the latter a cover of Abba's 1981 hit ).
Funniest sketch - without doubt the driving lesson sketch. There are too many hilarious one liners to list here but Bob Black's wonderful sketch is brought to life not just by Rikki Fulton but by Claire Nielson as well. The moment in which Fulton has to be dragged onto the set kicking and screaming by Tony Roper was not scripted! Rikki ad-libbed this hilarious moment while is was being broadcast live!
Second funniest sketch - a post closing credits sequence which sees the cast as themselves as though they have just finished watching this episode talking happily amongst themselves until the continuity announcer reveals that 'The Hogmanay Show' is about to start. We then see Rikki frantically picking up the television set and chucking it through the window! Sometimes I feel like doing that when I see Jackie Bird appearing on 'Hogmanay Live'!