BearCity (2010)
Joe Conti: Tyler
Quotes
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Simon : [Tyler walked in on Simon dancing to Dance Dance Revolution] Shit Tyler, you scared the hell out of me. Haven't you ever heard of knocking?
Tyler : [laughing] Oh God, you are officially whatever the PC term is for retarded.
Simon : Hand me those shorts
[Tyler tosses them to him]
Simon : Hey, it's my cardio, okay? Gym memberships cost a fortune in this city.
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Tyler : Seriously, Brent, thank you, very much. It's really appreciated, I need this job.
Brent : Oh, well, the job sucks. Don't worry about that. But the eye candy is compensation.
Tyler : I'll say.
[eyeing a redhaired leather bear]
Tyler : Hard candy by the looks of this.
Brent : No, no, that's Robbie. We call her Ruby because of the slippers that will fall out of her mouth when she speaks.
Drag Queen : Hey Luvah!
Robbie : [effeminately] Girl! Honey, you look fabulous! Do a little twirl, so I can take a look atcha!
Tyler : Can I have a search party sent out for the hard on that I just lost?
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Simon : [Tyler and Simon hadn't seen each other for a bit] Notice anything different?
Tyler : You're now part of the rhythm nation?
Simon : Hello! I lost five whole pounds? Thought I'd have you drooling by now.
Tyler : Actually, gaining ten would probably put you in the right direction.
Simon : What, you mean you want me to have a roll?
Tyler : Twenty pounds.
Simon : A muffin top?
Tyler : Thirty.
Simon : Are you suggesting... I mean, a whole belly?
Tyler : Yeah. Throw in some hair on that belly and I think we're talking perfection.
Simon : What happened to you? Were you dropped on your head as a child?
Tyler : God, Simon, please don't ever change. Scratch that. Mature, but please don't ever change.