The Addams Family (TV Series)

F.T.V. (1992)

John Astin: Gomez Addams

Quotes 

• [Gomez and Morticia are brushing their teeth before bedtime] 

  Gomez Addams : As my mouth foams with toothpaste, so foams my heart with love!

• Uncle Fester : Wanna relive our safari days and shrink my head?

  Gomez Addams : Always, brother! But I promised my pet I'd read her the next two chapters of Uncle Spore's "Fungi of the World."

  Morticia Addams : Ah, the way Gomez reads each page it's as if Uncle Spore were here with us in the room.

  Gomez Addams : Well, he was, until Lurch hosed down the underside of the bed...

• [brushing their teeth in the bathroom] 

  Morticia Addams : Darling, please don't rinse.

  Gomez Addams : Why, love?

  Morticia Addams : It's like you have hoof-and-mouth all over again.

• [the FTV satellite is heading for Happydale Heights] 

  Morticia Addams : Darling, we can burn marshmallows like our night on Mount Vesuvius!

  Gomez Addams : Ah, Querida, the bag is in the pantry...

• Wednesday Addams : Dear Uncle, what mischief have you devised this morning?

  Uncle Fester : Behold, my own satellite TV station!

  Gomez Addams : Yes!

• Gomez Addams : Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, vertebrates and invertebrates, F.T.V is on the air!

• Gomez Addams : [narrating amidst tropical scenery]  Tired of your regular vacations? Tired of the same old peaceful scenic trip year after year? Then kiss the mundane goodbye! Call Uncle Goner's Travel Agency today for that vacation with a twist!

  [a van is seen chugging along] 

  Gomez Addams : Marvel at the majestic beauty of the Grand Canyon!

  [the van drives off a cliff] 

  Gomez Addams : Behold the titanic wonder of Niagara Falls!

  [the van goes over the falls] 

  Gomez Addams : Relive the elegance of the Orient Express!

  [the van goes into a tunnel and comes out impaled on a train engine] 

  Gomez Addams : Or, if, you dare, discover the behind-the-scenes reality that made Gary Indiana famous!

  [the van is pulled into the train] 

  Gomez Addams : Uncle Goner's Travel Agency! Call now!

  Norman Normanmeyer : [watching the advertisement]  Oh, that's rich!

• Mr. Normanmeyer : [points out the window]  Say, isn't that a six-car pile-up?

  Pugsley Addams : Cool!

  [the Addamses rush over to the window to check it out] 

  Mr. Normanmeyer : [deactivating the satellite]  Come on, baby, come on down...

  [the Addams return from the window depressed] 

  Wednesday Addams : Darn the luck!

  Uncle Fester : Oh, buck it!

  Gomez Addams : Just another Johnson barbecue...

  Mr. Normanmeyer : Well, I guess my eyes aren't what they used to be...

• [Thanks to Normanmeyer, the city is in a mass panic] 

  Uncle Fester : Wow!

  Gomez Addams : Not ten seconds on the job, and the man's already making his mark!

• Uncle Fester : [receiving money]  Thanks! It all goes into my Norm fund, you know!

  Morticia Addams : Only four more months, and you'll have enough to build that nice Mr. Normanmeyer a new home!

  Gomez Addams : Wait until he sees the underwater bowling alley!