The Addams Family (TV Series)

Itt's Over (1992)

John Astin: Gomez Addams

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  [Lurch moans as a set of model trains are about to crash into each other at a crossroads] 

  Wednesday Addams : Prepare yourself, Pugsley!

  Pugsley Addams : It's time to kick in the turbos! Oh yeah! Do it!

  Wednesday Addams : And now for the coup de grace, Pugsley!

  [Wednesday, Pugsley and Thing pull out plungers] 

  Gomez Addams : Stop! What are you two doing?

  Wednesday Addams : We're sorry, Father. We didn't think you'd mind.

  Gomez Addams : Mind? Of course I mind!

  [takes a doll's pram, puts a cute teddy bear in it, and puts the pram on the crossroads...] 

  Gomez Addams : Ah, yes...!

  Pugsley Addams : Yeah!

  Gomez Addams : [grabbing a plunger]  Let her rip, my lovely little atrocity!

  Wednesday Addams : Oui, mon papa!

  [big explosion] 

  Pugsley Addams : Ah, gotcha!

  Gomez Addams : Now That"s the way to enjoy a wreck!

• Uncle Fester : Oh, Cousin Itt, I know I've troubled you many times for the honour of gnawing the birds out of your coiffe...

  Gomez Addams : [excited]  Fester! That's French!

  Uncle Fester : Get away from me! Go talk to your wife!

  Gomez Addams : Oh... oh, yeah, right...

• Gomez Addams : Cara mia, I just realized Fester's about to become a convicted felon! Do you know what that means?

  Morticia Addams : A proud Addams tradition lives on!

• Uncle Fester : [in prison]  It's a real hoot in here!

  [chuckles] 

  Mr. Normanmeyer : What? You mean... you... you like it?

  Uncle Fester : I love it! I made these great new friends. And they even let me flatten my hair in the license plate machine, too!

  Gomez Addams : Aha! A childhood dream come true!

  Uncle Fester : That's right! And I owe it all to my pal, Norm!

  [hugs Normanmeyer through the bar, who starts banging the bars in frustration and despair] 

  Mr. Normanmeyer : No! No! No!

• Uncle Fester : [Fester us freed from jail]  Oh, Cousin Itt, even though it means I have to leave this Shangri-La, I'm a smiling fool just because you're back!

  [Itt jabbers] 

  Uncle Fester : What? You can have me thrown in jail any time I want and I don't even have to commit a crime?

  Morticia Addams : [off screen]  Oh, Gomez.

  Uncle Fester : [kisses Itt]  Gee, thanks!

  Gomez Addams : Just one of the benefits of having a government man in the family!

• Morticia Addams : Oh, Gomez, there's something so romantic about a train ride.

  Gomez Addams : The wind in your hair, the clickety-clack of the tracks... and being robbed and kidnapped by a bunch of cutthroats!

• Morticia Addams : I hope you're successful, Uncle Fester.

  Uncle Fester : [tying his hair to the car]  Don't worry, Morticia. Remember how well it worked when I grew that blue arm?

  Gomez Addams : Besides, just think how much fun Lurch will have dragging Fester around the neighborhood, the lucky dog!

• Gomez Addams : We haven't had a family tragedy like this since Uncle Goner caught the plague!

  Morticia Addams : What was tragic about that, dear?

  Gomez Addams : I didn't catch it!

• Morticia Addams : Dear, the police are here to see Uncle Fester...

  Gomez Addams : They probably want to use him as a crash-test dummy again! That ought to cheer him up!

• Wednesday Addams : Uncle Fester, your hair...!

  Uncle Fester : Oh, no! Is it back?

  Morticia Addams : No, dear, it's all gone!

  Uncle Fester : Well... I guess I was so worried about Cousin Itt that my hair fell out!

  Gomez Addams : That must be a load off your mind.

  Uncle Fester : Yeah, and we can deep-fry it at the next family picnic!

• Uncle Fester : Cousin Itt, I throw myself upon the mercy of your split ends! Tell me how to get rid of this hair.

  [Itt jabbers] 

  Morticia Addams : Oh, dear, it's classified government information.

  Gomez Addams : Cara mia! Another bureaucratic cover-up!

  Uncle Fester : You government agents are all alike: three-foot tall balls of unfeeling fur! And after all those times I licked your driveway clean!

• Mr. Normanmeyer : That's him, officer, he did it, he killed Cousin Hairball, arrest him.

  Uncle Fester : Ditto, Norm.

  [sniffs] 

  Uncle Fester : Lock me up and throw away the key, I deserve to rot in jail.

  Morticia Addams : Fester wants to rot in jail. Oh, Gomez, he must be starting to feel better already.

  Gomez Addams : He's got that old Addams verve back!