The Addams Family (TV Series)
Hide and Go Lurch/Hook, Line and Stinkers/A Sword Fightin' Thing (1992)
Jim Cummings: Lurch, Twin Spies
Quotes
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[Gomez and Fester masquerade as an American Gothic portrait]
Lurch : [as a cow disguise] Moooooooooooo.
Gomez Addams : Aha!
Uncle Fester : Yikes!
[Gomez and Fester rush out of the portrait]
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[Gomez and Fester hide in Cousin Itt's hair]
Gomez Addams : Think we lost him, Fester?
Lurch : [popping out from under Itt's hat] Uhhhh-uhhhh.
Gomez Addams : Well, thanks anyway, Itt.
[Itt jabbers]
Gomez Addams : By the way, old man, you missing a motorcycle?
Lurch : [producing a helmet] Yooouuur heeellmeeet...
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[in the middle of a desert]
Gomez Addams : [panting] Fester... the vultures are starting to circle...
Uncle Fester : Well, if you'd hold still for a second, one of them might land and start pecking.
Lurch : Leeeemmmmooonnnaaade?
Uncle Fester : Eh, hmmm. Shoot!
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Uncle Fester : [brings out a remote] Brother of mine, I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but we do have one last hope: my emergency hiding place! I didn't want to tell you about it, but we are two desperate hombres!
Gomez Addams : Well, whatever it is, brother, do it.
[Fester presses the remote, and a 1000-ton weight crushes the two]
Lurch : Miisssteerrrrr Adddaaammms? Feesssteeerrr?
[Lurch walks away. The clock strikes midnight, and Gomez and Fester pull themselves out under the weight]
Gomez Addams : [in victorious agony] We did it, after all these years! The genius that is my brother! Not only have we finally outwitted Lurch, but we've gained the extra benefit of walking funny for weeks!
Uncle Fester : Well, I try.
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Wednesday Addams : Lurch has something to say - ahem! - does he not?
Lurch : Iiiiii leeeet yoouuuu wiiiinnnn.
Uncle Fester : Well, tie me up and paint bugs on my face!
Gomez Addams : You mean... we were duped, cheated, buffaloed?
Lurch : Biiiinnnngoooo.
Gomez Addams : [shakes Lurch's hand] Glad to hear it, governor! Thank you.
Uncle Fester : [hugs Lurch] Bless your artificial hearts!