- Mona Saunders: Never thought I'd grow up to be a ballroom dancer.
- Toni Campari: I never thought I'd grow up to be a lesbian.
- Cedric Michaels: [looking into empty fridge] Oh, em, gee, it's like a gay club before midnight in here.
- Cedric Michaels: Seriously, have you seen this? It's like Barney's after a 20% off sale!
- Cedric Michaels: Honest to God I can see the back. I always thought it went on forever...