I am not really sure if "So ein Schlamassel" or "Massel" (the working title) is the worse choice here, but it doesn't matter anyway because this film would have been an equally terrible watch with any other title. It runs for under 1.5 hours as these ARD productions usually do and if you see that Degeto was a part of this again, you know you have to expect the worst quality-wise really. And still, it gets worse than you expected probably. As for the basics, the director is Dirk Regel. Pretty prolific man and he started at the very end of the old millennium, so more than a decade before this got made and there is another decade between the making of this film and now. If you see his elaborations on films set in Asia, films set in Italy, Inga Lindström adaptations and highly forgettable television series, the final doubts about this film here becoming a failure should be gone. As for writer Daniel Wolf, this was only his second full feature film and not a lot was followed afterwards, which was probably a really good thing. Still he got in with Tatort somehow, which proves that they are really taking everybody for their stupid stories. But let's stay with this one here now. Maybe you guessed from the last word of the title (very funny already) or some of the people's outfits on the imdb poster here already, that the focus is on Judaism. So it is one of these relatively light German films with focus on foreign cultures and religions that are still sending out a message of tolerance. Yawn. In general, not a bad idea, but the problem is that the vast majority of these films are pretty terrible and highly uninspired and simply unfunny and this one here is definitely not an exception.
Sadly, these subjects still attracted many big-name actors back then when this got made and probably will for a while in the future too, no matter how poor the screenplay may be. And let me assure you, it is very poor here. Then again, almost all of the actors in here, even if they are somewhat known, are very much on the overrated side and do not possess a lot of talent. This especially applies to Natalia Avelon who is definitely easy on the eye and who got hyped a lot with her exotic name, but the truth is she is by no definition a good actress. Probably not even a mediocre actress. She shows it here. There is also something really off with her voice. Honestly, the only direction I see her taking is down to the level of Neubauer and Thomalla, but with the Degeto hype fading now and her being 40 already too, she is probably ten years too late for this. Johannes Zirner, who plays her love interest here, is honestly as bland as it gets. This already begins with their first meeting really. So cringe. And not cute. But I will talk about the story later on. Let's stay with the cast for now. So many familiar faces: Sägebrecht obviously as she was the lead in the Oscar-nominated Out of Rosenheim decades earlier and has played the same character ever since. Unwatchable. One from the Erkan&Stefan duo is in here too. Rolf Eden has had a wild career. Rolf Hoppe was a big star in the GDR and sad to see him in films like this in the 21st century. He deserved better. May he rest in peace. Gudrun Landgrebe, also one of Germany's most successful actresses during her peak, is reduced to a nothing character, which is a good thing because she has no talent. Landuris, Burkhard, Mendl and August Zirner are kinda easy to identify as always. Yep, family affair, August plays Johannes' father here. With Mariella Ahrens, they found the one actress who is probably even less talented than Avelon. She was unwatchable in her scenes. And Focus' Helmut Markwort they also got in somehow. Unexpected, but his role is so minimal that you could miss him if you blink for too long. He is not an actor anyway.
As for the story, it goes all kinds of wrong. The general idea is that we have a young Jewish woman start dating a German non-religious man. Next up, after one night of passion, is of course Sägebrecht's character showing up at the girl's home and, before telling us how her character is a saint that helps people as always, she finds the guy's underpants or something and just like the nosy errr.. caring woman she is, she wants to know about everything and must talk about it to everyone and this is how it gets out. His atheism would be a big problem for her family, so they decide to keep it a secret. Or actually Avelon's character decides it. The man has no veto or anything. But he has the task to sing in a cringeworthy manner outside the woman's window to charm her. These films are always so anti-male it's not even funny anymore. So the two lovers (well, again all her) decide to come up with an utterly stereotypical Jewish name for the man. This was maybe the most randomly cringeworthy moment from the movie. But then again, it makes very much sense if you take a look at the real names they gave these fellas here: Rosenberg, Silberschatz, Grüngras and we get a Schlomo too obviously. I don't even. I know this was probably meant partially funny at least, but it all feels desperate and for the sake of it and shows utter lack of talent and creativity. And subtlety. This film would have needed it very much. A great example there is when the little boy spots the male protagonist's dad's genital and sees that he is not circumsized. How the kid keeps rambling and asking questions was a truly poor example of child acting there. But you can't really blame him. Blame those who cast him. Things go further south even. The very old man (Hoppe) has a heart attack or something and is taken to the hospital. There Sägebrecht has once again a moment of poor acting with an actually easy scene as she is asked about the man's age. And sorry, she is also not a good actress when it comes to crying.
Of course, in the end, all is pretty good anyway somehow and basically the entire premise of her family hating her if she dates a non-Jewish man is forgotten. No big deal. The woman lying to everybody not a biggie either. Instead, the film loses itself in this subplot about Ahrens' character finding out that her man is only shooting blanks and also that, way earlier in the film, he may have lost interest in her. This subplot was as unwatchable as the rest of it or even more with Ahrens' complete absence of talent. But this story line is also magically solved in the end with the inclusion of the usual forced unrealistic ending when we have the man (Landuris) show up right on time for the boy's big moment. I mean he had to with how persistent the boy is when it comes to saying he wants to discuss his father's absence now. Another really poor moment of child acting. The best was maybe Burkhard really. I mean he did nothing but grin all movie here, but it felt right somehow. As if he was laughing about the terrible plots and stories this movie included. It probably wasn't meant this way, but still it felt like that to me. If he really managed to fool everybody, then props to him. Oh and I already mentioned the anti-male component here, also with how Landuris' character has to accept the situation (was the boy even his? or did his partner cheat? probably Burkhard's character was the father) and show up eventually, but another example would be young Zirner being bullied by these women (including Avelon) early on when they teach him how to be a proper Jew. This also involves this big blonde "lady" and she was really the worst. Absolutely unwatchable performance, absolutely unlikable character, absolute nonsense role. Was it her who got in the politically correct gay-themed minor subplot here? In any case, her being so happy after initially seeming so mad at the end is another moment when this film hits rock bottom.
So yeah, there is nothing that isn't wrong with this movie. Absolute travesty that this film is on national television still a decade later. Even more. An even bigger shemozzle. I could go on and on with terrible moments here. How one character has to run to get inside the house early on. The football moment afterwards. Oh and also the rare serious moments were terrible. Take Avelon's display of poor acting when she elaborates on her character being a Berlin Jew in the fourth generation. Clearly she did not have remotely the range for this role. Or pretty much any other role. One very questionable aspect for me here is that they did not even depict this attitude as something despicable. That she should only be with a man of the same religion. But that is exactly what it is. I mean they must not offend anybody here right. The only religion that deserves to be offended in mainstream media is Christianity. But nothing against Jews from me either because there is one far more intolerant religion out there that is constantly pampered no matter how offensive and gruesome their deeds. But that's another story. As for this film here, I think I have made myself clear how much it sucked from beginning to end. Speaking of the ending, this applies to the rushed-in new tenant and how the guy is almost in Chicago for his job before the reunion and happy ending. More pseudo drama. Just like the oh so justified slap in the face earlier. And even wirh stuff like that, there is no reason for him to stay if he can't be with this "adorable" woman anymore. There is not a single moment in here during which I really considered giving it more than one star out of five. It is a really abysmal watch indeed. I could mention other examples of very weak inclusions, but the character limit is getting closer. Still the talks about bad singing, all the scenes at Avelon's character's workplace, but most of all how this film here and there threw in a connection to the Holocaust were the most despicable. It is so terrible and uninspired that I found it really offensive, almost in a way how they used this gigantic mass murder for the sake of giving their film more pseudo significance. That's all now. Skip this one at all costs.
Sadly, these subjects still attracted many big-name actors back then when this got made and probably will for a while in the future too, no matter how poor the screenplay may be. And let me assure you, it is very poor here. Then again, almost all of the actors in here, even if they are somewhat known, are very much on the overrated side and do not possess a lot of talent. This especially applies to Natalia Avelon who is definitely easy on the eye and who got hyped a lot with her exotic name, but the truth is she is by no definition a good actress. Probably not even a mediocre actress. She shows it here. There is also something really off with her voice. Honestly, the only direction I see her taking is down to the level of Neubauer and Thomalla, but with the Degeto hype fading now and her being 40 already too, she is probably ten years too late for this. Johannes Zirner, who plays her love interest here, is honestly as bland as it gets. This already begins with their first meeting really. So cringe. And not cute. But I will talk about the story later on. Let's stay with the cast for now. So many familiar faces: Sägebrecht obviously as she was the lead in the Oscar-nominated Out of Rosenheim decades earlier and has played the same character ever since. Unwatchable. One from the Erkan&Stefan duo is in here too. Rolf Eden has had a wild career. Rolf Hoppe was a big star in the GDR and sad to see him in films like this in the 21st century. He deserved better. May he rest in peace. Gudrun Landgrebe, also one of Germany's most successful actresses during her peak, is reduced to a nothing character, which is a good thing because she has no talent. Landuris, Burkhard, Mendl and August Zirner are kinda easy to identify as always. Yep, family affair, August plays Johannes' father here. With Mariella Ahrens, they found the one actress who is probably even less talented than Avelon. She was unwatchable in her scenes. And Focus' Helmut Markwort they also got in somehow. Unexpected, but his role is so minimal that you could miss him if you blink for too long. He is not an actor anyway.
As for the story, it goes all kinds of wrong. The general idea is that we have a young Jewish woman start dating a German non-religious man. Next up, after one night of passion, is of course Sägebrecht's character showing up at the girl's home and, before telling us how her character is a saint that helps people as always, she finds the guy's underpants or something and just like the nosy errr.. caring woman she is, she wants to know about everything and must talk about it to everyone and this is how it gets out. His atheism would be a big problem for her family, so they decide to keep it a secret. Or actually Avelon's character decides it. The man has no veto or anything. But he has the task to sing in a cringeworthy manner outside the woman's window to charm her. These films are always so anti-male it's not even funny anymore. So the two lovers (well, again all her) decide to come up with an utterly stereotypical Jewish name for the man. This was maybe the most randomly cringeworthy moment from the movie. But then again, it makes very much sense if you take a look at the real names they gave these fellas here: Rosenberg, Silberschatz, Grüngras and we get a Schlomo too obviously. I don't even. I know this was probably meant partially funny at least, but it all feels desperate and for the sake of it and shows utter lack of talent and creativity. And subtlety. This film would have needed it very much. A great example there is when the little boy spots the male protagonist's dad's genital and sees that he is not circumsized. How the kid keeps rambling and asking questions was a truly poor example of child acting there. But you can't really blame him. Blame those who cast him. Things go further south even. The very old man (Hoppe) has a heart attack or something and is taken to the hospital. There Sägebrecht has once again a moment of poor acting with an actually easy scene as she is asked about the man's age. And sorry, she is also not a good actress when it comes to crying.
Of course, in the end, all is pretty good anyway somehow and basically the entire premise of her family hating her if she dates a non-Jewish man is forgotten. No big deal. The woman lying to everybody not a biggie either. Instead, the film loses itself in this subplot about Ahrens' character finding out that her man is only shooting blanks and also that, way earlier in the film, he may have lost interest in her. This subplot was as unwatchable as the rest of it or even more with Ahrens' complete absence of talent. But this story line is also magically solved in the end with the inclusion of the usual forced unrealistic ending when we have the man (Landuris) show up right on time for the boy's big moment. I mean he had to with how persistent the boy is when it comes to saying he wants to discuss his father's absence now. Another really poor moment of child acting. The best was maybe Burkhard really. I mean he did nothing but grin all movie here, but it felt right somehow. As if he was laughing about the terrible plots and stories this movie included. It probably wasn't meant this way, but still it felt like that to me. If he really managed to fool everybody, then props to him. Oh and I already mentioned the anti-male component here, also with how Landuris' character has to accept the situation (was the boy even his? or did his partner cheat? probably Burkhard's character was the father) and show up eventually, but another example would be young Zirner being bullied by these women (including Avelon) early on when they teach him how to be a proper Jew. This also involves this big blonde "lady" and she was really the worst. Absolutely unwatchable performance, absolutely unlikable character, absolute nonsense role. Was it her who got in the politically correct gay-themed minor subplot here? In any case, her being so happy after initially seeming so mad at the end is another moment when this film hits rock bottom.
So yeah, there is nothing that isn't wrong with this movie. Absolute travesty that this film is on national television still a decade later. Even more. An even bigger shemozzle. I could go on and on with terrible moments here. How one character has to run to get inside the house early on. The football moment afterwards. Oh and also the rare serious moments were terrible. Take Avelon's display of poor acting when she elaborates on her character being a Berlin Jew in the fourth generation. Clearly she did not have remotely the range for this role. Or pretty much any other role. One very questionable aspect for me here is that they did not even depict this attitude as something despicable. That she should only be with a man of the same religion. But that is exactly what it is. I mean they must not offend anybody here right. The only religion that deserves to be offended in mainstream media is Christianity. But nothing against Jews from me either because there is one far more intolerant religion out there that is constantly pampered no matter how offensive and gruesome their deeds. But that's another story. As for this film here, I think I have made myself clear how much it sucked from beginning to end. Speaking of the ending, this applies to the rushed-in new tenant and how the guy is almost in Chicago for his job before the reunion and happy ending. More pseudo drama. Just like the oh so justified slap in the face earlier. And even wirh stuff like that, there is no reason for him to stay if he can't be with this "adorable" woman anymore. There is not a single moment in here during which I really considered giving it more than one star out of five. It is a really abysmal watch indeed. I could mention other examples of very weak inclusions, but the character limit is getting closer. Still the talks about bad singing, all the scenes at Avelon's character's workplace, but most of all how this film here and there threw in a connection to the Holocaust were the most despicable. It is so terrible and uninspired that I found it really offensive, almost in a way how they used this gigantic mass murder for the sake of giving their film more pseudo significance. That's all now. Skip this one at all costs.