- Sophie Devereaux: She has to have corroboration from her own sources. She has to craft the narrative. Monica Hunter has to be the author of here own personal nightmare
- Nathan Ford: Do I sound that creepy when I...?
- Eliot Spencer: Hell Yes!
- Alec Hardison: [caught breaking into military installation] I don't know that white woman. I met her at a bar, she said we was going back to her place. I thought it was a gated community.
- Alec Hardison: Get me outta here!
- Sophie Devereaux: Yeah, uh, I'm working on it.
- Parker: I'm on it.
- Sophie Devereaux: No, no, no, no, no! You cannot go. You're dead. Monica Hunter sees you and the whole con is blown.
- Parker: Right.
- Alec Hardison: Damn the con. I am a black man caught on an army base with a video camera. I am going to jail forever!
- Parker: We totally went to the moon.
- Eliot Spencer: Movie sets. I've seen 'em, they're outside of Albuquerque.
- Parker: Why would there still be sets there?
- Eliot Spencer: Because, they're going to reuse them for the Mars mission. Re-paint it all red.
- Sophie Devereaux: [dramatically] Pack your bags everyone, we're going to make news.
- Nathan Ford: She's walking into the closet...
- [last lines]
- Nathan Ford: Now here is where you say something nice about me...
- Sophie Devereaux: Don't ruin the moment.
- Eliot Spencer: You see, it's not that much fun when your hangin' out there in the wind, and there's a dude behind a computer crankin' jokes, is there.
- Parker: I like it when we switch jobs. It's exciting.