Community (TV Series)
Football, Feminism and You (2009)
Donald Glover: Troy Barnes
Photos
Quotes
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Jeff Winger : I'm locked out of my old kingdom. You're not. You see what I'm saying?
Troy Barnes : You're saying I could be a lawyer.
Jeff Winger : I'm saying you're a football player! It's in your blood!
Troy Barnes : That's racist.
Jeff Winger : Your soul!
Troy Barnes : That's racist.
Jeff Winger : Your eyes?
Troy Barnes : That's gay?
Jeff Winger : That's homophobic.
Troy Barnes : That's black.
Jeff Winger : That's racist!
Troy Barnes : ...Damn!
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Annie Edison : Troy, I've been waiting for an hour!
Troy : It's all right, I'm worth it. Hip, hop, body don't stop, Riverside got the broom, don't need a mop. Put your team in a box, put a ribbon on top, we're not John Kerry 'cause we don't flip flop. Say ohhh...
Annie Edison : Troy. Why are you doing our politically conservative high school's shamefully outdated fight rap?
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Jeff Winger : This decision has to be yours, T-Bone. And this decision has to be yes.
Troy : How did you know my nickname was T-Bone?
Jeff Winger : Because you're a football player and your name begins with "T." Your name... begins... with "T."
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Troy : Oh bing, bong, sing along. Your team's Al Gore 'cause your views are wrong.
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Troy : Is that linebacker a pregnant woman?
Jeff Winger : Look, you can meet them later!
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[Abed and Troy are playing with the PA system]
Abed Nadir : Announcement number one: All announcements will be cool starting right now.
Troy : Announcement number two: Butt soup.
Abed Nadir : Announcement number three: I am not Hadji from "Jonny Quest", Jeff Winger.
Troy : On security news, you guys gotta start locking the dean's door, so guys like us don't get in.
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Jeff Winger : For instance, after the dean talked to you about football, you and I were thinking the same thing.
Troy : [Face lights up] That dude looks like Moby!
Jeff Winger : We were thinking "What if Troy *did* play for Greendale?". You'd be surprised how many of your favorite football players started at community college.
Troy : Really. Name one.
Jeff Winger : Who's your favorite football player?
Troy : Me.
[Face changes to an astonished look]
Troy : Whoa!
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Troy : Greendale, we're number one! Nancy Pelosi is no fun!
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Jeff Winger : Let me tell you. little secret about me Troy. Every day on my way to school, I drive through downtown past the courthouse. Just to get a glimpse of the world I once ruled. And I just want to jump out of my car, run up the steps and... exploit the legal system for profit. But I can't, I'm locked out of my old kingdom. You're not. See what I'm saying?
Troy : [Nods, gets a faraway look in his eyes] You're saying I could be a lawyer.
Jeff Winger : I'm saying you're a football player; it's in your blood.
Troy : That's racist.
Jeff Winger : Your soul.
Troy : *That's* racist.
Jeff Winger : Your eyes?
Troy : That's gay?
Jeff Winger : That's homophobic.
Troy : That's black.
Jeff Winger : That's racist.
Troy : Damn!
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Annie Edison : And what does a star turn into after it collapses?
Jeff Winger : A movie of the week.
Troy Barnes : A black hole.
Annie Edison : Right. Troy, you could be an astronomer.
Pierce Hawthorne : As far as I'm concerned, there's only one black hole worth studying.
[everyone stops and stares at Pierce]
Pierce Hawthorne : It's called Sagittarius A. It's located in the center of our galaxy and it has the density of 40 suns.
[Jeff holds up one finger to signal 'wait for it']
Pierce Hawthorne : Just like my wiener.
Troy Barnes : Troy: Ha-ha. You said "wiener." That's funny.
Abed Nadir : Pierce and Troy didn't get along at first but now they're bonding through mutual adolescence.
Pierce Hawthorne , Troy Barnes : Shut up, fart head. Will you shut up, poo-poo head?