Psych (TV Series)
Death Is in the Air (2010)
Timothy Omundson: Carlton Lassiter
Quotes
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Carlton Lassiter : [Lassiter, Donny, Shawn, Gus and Juliet are all being showered in the parking lot] I mean is this really necessary? I didn't even go inside the cafe.
Donny Leberman : Oh it's necessary. Yeah, the CDC doesn't want to take any chances.
Carlton Lassiter : For the last time, who the hell is this?
Donny Leberman : Oh, I'm Donny Leberman. Hey, I'm the guy who screwed all this up.
Carlton Lassiter : I'm not big on nude handshakes.
Juliet O'Hara : They're probably just being safe, Carlton.
[Hit by a hose]
Juliet O'Hara : Ooh, that tickles.
Carlton Lassiter : Spencer, are you shampooing your hair?
Shawn Spencer : Yes I am, Lassie. I always travel with a small packet of Johnson and Johnson's baby shampoo in my wallet.
Juliet O'Hara : Baby shampoo?
Shawn Spencer : No more tears, Jules.
Carlton Lassiter : [Getting scrubbed down] Whoa, take it easy, slugger, what are we dating?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : I can't believe this, Shawn. First, we're looking for a prostitute, now I'm naked in a parking lot.
Shawn Spencer : It's just like our prom night.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Shawn.
Shawn Spencer : Gus, relax. Don't be Nick Cage's accent from "Con Air." We've bathed together before.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : When we were three.
Shawn Spencer : It's essentially the same thing. It's just impolite to pee.
[to the person scrubbing him down]
Shawn Spencer : That feels great by the way.
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Shawn Spencer : [after Lassiter pulls his gun on a barking Rottweiler] Who are you, Michael Vick?
Carlton Lassiter : I'm not going to shoot him. *He* doesn't know that.
Shawn Spencer : He doesn't know *anything*. He's a dog.
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Carlton Lassiter : Spencer, why don't you get out of sight, alright? Mallon knows what you look like and you're not trained in covert surveillance.
Shawn Spencer : Really? What part of training is announcing our presence with a megaphone?
Carlton Lassiter : Just go hide in a bathroom and stay out of our way.
Shawn Spencer : Alright, we'll go. Not because you told us to. Gus has to tinkle.
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Carlton Lassiter : This is a waste of time. We're rushing to check out some coffee place that some mysterious person who may or may not be carrying a deadly virus may or may not have visited.
Donny Leberman : Well, I for one, trust Mr. Spencer's instincts on this.
Carlton Lassiter : [to Juliet] Who the hell is this?
Juliet O'Hara : Carlton, we need to look into every possible lead at this point. Besides, you were already wrong once today.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : I've never seen Lassie put in his place like that.
Shawn Spencer : It's hot. I'd like her to put me in my place.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : That makes no sense, Shawn.