- Ted Mosby: I sent a cab with a female driver so she would have no other male interaction until she came to me.
- Barney Stinson: Where she will still have no interaction with a man. What up? I feel good tonight. Tonight's gonna be good.
- Barney Stinson: [to a random girl, wearing Marshall's overalls] Hey.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Oh, he's not saying hello, he's just telling you what he feeds his horses. Oh man, I could sit here and make "you look like a farmer" jokes all night. Challenge accepted.
- Ted Mosby: You know how everyone has that guy or girl that no matter what happens, you know will be perfect for you.
- Marshall Eriksen: Lily.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Mike Shacks.
- Barney Stinson: That girl over there.
- Ted Mosby: [Ted is trying to end the class early so he could scramble back to MacLaren's for Maggie] One very important thing to keep in mind when designing a bridge...
- [absentmindedly writes MAGGIE on the blackboard]
- Louis: Maggie?
- Ted Mosby: Oh no, I mean, yes, when designing a bridge, always remember
- [points to writing]
- Ted Mosby: Make Adjustments, Go Get It Energized. Good advice for life too.
- Betty: [Raises hand] So Professor Mosby, is this Maggie someone special?
- Ted Mosby: No... she's this girl I've been into for a really long time so well, tonight could be the one chance I have to go out with her.
- [students raise hands and Ted chooses one]
- Jamie Adamic: Is she a hottie?
- Ted Mosby: Yes Jamie she's very attractive, we can just end this class right now and
- [Betty raises hand]
- Ted Mosby: Betty?
- Betty: Maggie may finally be available, but what about you Professor Mosby, are you ready for a serious relationship?
- Ted Mosby: Totally... I mean I think so, maybe, I don't know, what do you guys think?
- [students raise hands]
- Barney Stinson: [about Marshall's overalls] No one, I mean no one could get laid wearing these. Challenge accepted. I, Barney Stinson, of sound mind and amazing body will wear these overalls until have sex with a woman.
- Ted Mosby: I forgot what it feels like to chase the real thing but I think I'm ready again.
- Barney Stinson: Yeah... let me tell you were I'm at... I want to have sex with a girl so I can take off these overalls.
- Ted Mosby: [Ted receives a call] Hello?
- Mrs. Douglas: Hello? Ted Mosby?
- Ted Mosby: Yes?
- Mrs. Douglas: The window is open.
- Ted Mosby: [pause] What?
- Mrs. Douglas: The Window... is open!
- Ted Mosby: [hangs up and looks to Marshall] The window is open.
- Marshall Eriksen: What are you waiting for?
- Ted Mosby: I... I...
- Marshall Eriksen: Run, Ted! RUN!
- [Ted runs out of the apartment]
- Ted Mosby: [to Lily on the sidewalk] Lily, the window is open.
- Lily Aldrin: Make a hole, people!
- [gets baby cart of bystanders and pushes it forward, sending the bystanders to chase it]
- Lily Aldrin: Run, Ted! RUN!
- Jim: [about Maggie] I've been in love with her for five years.
- Ted Mosby: I've been in love with her for twelve years.
- Barney Stinson: I've been in these overalls for an hour and a half.
- Barney Stinson: [On phone] Ten minutes and the window's closed.
- Ted Mosby: What? Ten minutes?
- Barney Stinson: Because we're bros.