- Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi: Pickles are my thing, like, and the boys, like, always stare at me for eating pickles cause I eat it like a pervert.
- DJ Pauly D: The fact that Jwoww broke up with her boyfriend, it just means that she'll feel less guilty now when she hooks up with me.
- Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi: I had a feeling where I wanted to make out with somebody so, uh, I just made out with Ryder... cause all the guys like that.
- Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino: You better wash dishes from now on.
- Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi: Yeah. Fuck my fucking asshole right now.
- Ronnie Ortiz-Magro: [about Sammi] At first, I was all about, like, I'm not going to shit where I sleep. But, I mean, for her I would roll around in my shit all day to be honest with you.
- Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino: [about the bbq on fire] Pauly, take care of it before we blow the fuck up.
- Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino: I told Pauly D to start the grill and he puts charcoal in a gas grill, then he asks me to light it and we were this close to pretty much blowing up the house.
- Ronnie Ortiz-Magro: Honestly, I thought the Shore house was the best thing to happen to me but you are.