- Skipper: Don't tell me you're all afraid of a little fish.
- Kowalski: Not just any fish, Skipper. The snakehead trout. It's an invasive species that devours everything in its path, leaving nothing but despair and tragedy in its wake.
- [Private, Rico and Kowalski look at picture of trout and run away screaming]
- Skipper: It's... a... fish! We... eat... fish!
- Kowalski: Yes! But this unholy beast flips the very order of nature.
- Private: It's as if our dinner is having us for dinner!
- Marlene: [the penguins are watching TV; Marlene steps in front of it] Guys, there's a rumor going around that they're closing down the zoo, permanently!
- Private: Doesn't that otter on TV look just like Marlene?
- [Kowalski and Rico mumble in agreement]
- Skipper: Nah. Marlene has a giant, misshapen...
- [Marlene turns off TV]
- Skipper: Marlene! How did you get in here?
- King Julien: By the power infested in me by... me, I christen thee King Juilen Aye-Aye. That's fancy talk for "two".
- King Julien: Yes, there certainly are dumber animals here. Like that guy.
- [Points at polar bear plush toy]
- King Julien: Idiot-o! Yes, I'm talking about you. See? He doesn't even get it.
- Mason: [pulls out camcorder] Phil and I recently liberated this from Lost and Found.
- Skipper: Video! I like where your head's at, simian. Simple blackmail.
- Mason: Actually, I just thought we could make a commercial to show off some of the animals at the zoo.
- Marlene: And then what? We climb a giant space ladder, hook it up to a satellite and broadcast the commerical all over the city?
- Kowalski: Marlene, that's brilliant! You may have a future in science.
- Marlene: Oh, really... You think?
- Kowalski: I'ts so obvious. Why didn't I think of it? Skipper, do you mind?
- [Skipper slaps Kowalski]
- Kowalski: Turns out they don't make giant space ladders. Skipper, would you?
- [Skipper slaps Kowalksi]
- Kowalski: So instead we'll build this. A satellite transmitter. We'll need a satellite dish, telescope, cell phone, flashlight, egg timer, toilet plunger, and a treadmill.
- [Rico barfs out egg timer, flashlight and plunger]
- Kowalski: And we still need the satellite dish, cell phone, telescope and treadmill.
- [Rico tries to regurgitate them but can't]
- King Julien: Here, let me try.
- [Squeezes Mort; he farts]
- King Julien: Oh, Mort! Oh, that burns my nose!