Community (TV Series)
Interpretive Dance (2010)
Alison Brie: Annie Edison
Photos
Quotes
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Britta Perry : Troy and I have something we'd like to tell you.
[takes Troy's hand]
Annie Edison : [gasps]
Britta Perry : Oh, no, no.
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Britta Perry : [about Pierce] Where is he? I have not seen him around all day.
Annie Edison : [Concerned] I haven't either.
Jeff Winger : Has anyone called him?
Abed Nadir : I did. Several times, actually. But he never returned my calls.
Shirley Bennett : Oh, no.
Troy Barnes : Oh. The last thing I said to him was, "Suck it".
Britta Perry : Me too.
Pierce Hawthorne : [Walks in] Good morning.
[They all sigh in relief]
Pierce Hawthorne : You thought I was dead, didn't you?
Britta Perry , Annie Edison , Jeff Winger , Shirley Bennett , Troy Barnes : No!
Abed Nadir : I did.
Pierce Hawthorne : Do you people have any idea how emasculating that is? I'm not Mickey Rooney. You don't have to cross your fingers to see if I'll show up. You know, when I was 30, people used to wish I was dead to my face. Now that's respect.
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Annie Edison : Before we start, I'd like to have a preliminary pow wow, or prelimiwow, about what I'm calling our library's backdoor conundrum.
Abed Nadir : Sounds like a porno with Kate Winslet.
Annie Edison : Abed, ew.
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Britta Perry : [Britta picks a stray hair from Jeff's jacket] Who is the lucky brunette?
Jeff Winger : Last name Beeswax, first name none-a-ya.
Pierce Hawthorne : Oh, my third wife was biracial.
Jeff Winger : Stop it!
Britta Perry : I am just trying to help keep you out of trouble. What if the next girl saw these?
Jeff Winger : Well, then she would know it was hers.
Shirley Bennett : Jeff, you're sleeping with a woman you already slept with?
Jeff Winger : Can't I be the friend in the group whose trademark is his well-defined boundaries? Like Privacy Smurf, Discreet Bear or... Confidentiality Spice?
Annie Edison : Why would you keep her a secret? Don't you want us to meet her?
Jeff Winger : We have an agreement to keep it low-key.
Pierce Hawthorne : That's ridiculous. Obviously, it's a guy.
Jeff Winger : You're wrong, Pierce. It's two guys. Sometimes I *do* wish you were dead.
Pierce Hawthorne : [Gushes] Thank you.
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Annie Edison : Now, if we were to move our meetings to 4:30...
Troy Barnes , Britta Perry : No.
Troy Barnes : I have a regular class at that time. It's like math or other regular classes.
Britta Perry : I have something unimportant that can't ever move.
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Jeff Winger : You all remember Michelle Slater, my professor from last semester? As most of you may realize by now, she's the woman I've been seeing lately.
Professor Michelle Slater : Why are they looking at me like I'm a zoo animal?
Abed Nadir : Well, Jeff acts as sort of the dad of the group, so emotionally this is kind of like being told that you're our new mom.
Professor Michelle Slater : But you know it's nothing like that, right?
Abed Nadir : Absolutely. Do you cook macaroni?
Professor Michelle Slater : I have.
Abed Nadir : Macaroni's my favorite.
Jeff Winger : The important thing is we all understand Professor Slater and I need this to be our little secret. Everyone understand that?
Abed Nadir , Britta Perry , Annie Edison , Shirley Bennett , Troy Barnes , Pierce Hawthorne : Yeah. Yes. I do like macaroni.
[overlapping agreement]
Abed Nadir , Britta Perry , Annie Edison , Shirley Bennett , Troy Barnes , Pierce Hawthorne : Sure.
[overlapping chatter]
Jeff Winger : See? All good.
Professor Michelle Slater : Well, thank you, everyone. I appreciate it. I should get going.
[Michelle leans in to give Jeff a kiss]
Abed Nadir , Britta Perry , Annie Edison , Shirley Bennett , Troy Barnes , Pierce Hawthorne : Ooh! Ooh...
[Michelle stops, she and Jeff turn to look incredulously at the group, Michelle offers to shake Jeff's hand]
Professor Michelle Slater : Bye.
Abed Nadir : Bye.