Community (TV Series)
Physical Education (2010)
Joel McHale: Jeff Winger
Photos
Quotes
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Abed Nadir : When you really know who you are and what you like about yourself, changing for others isn't such a big deal.
Jeff Winger : Abed, you are a God. If you'll all excuse me, I have a man to beat in pool while wearing shorts.
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Jeff Winger : What are you guys doing?
Abed Nadir : They're teaching me to be someone else.
Jeff Winger : Oh, for God's sake! What did I tell you guys?
Abed Nadir : [imitating Jeff] Oh, for God's sake everybody, do whatever you want! Leave each other alone!
Troy Barnes : Whoa! That's a good Jeff. How did you do that?
Abed Nadir : 10 % Dick Van Dyke, 20 % Sam Malone, 40 % Zach Braff in Scrubs, and 30 % Hilary Swank in Boys Don't Cry.
Jeff Winger : ...Zach Braff?
Abed Nadir : Sorry.
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Leonard : You're gonna look like an ass in those.
Jeff Winger : Shut up, Leonard. I talked to your son on Family Day. I know all about your gambling problem.
Leonard : Touché.
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Jeff Winger : Now, do you want to talk about clothes like a girl? Or use tapered sticks to hit balls around a cushioned table, like a man?
Coach Bogner : Balls, like a man!
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Jeff Winger : Well, I hate to say that I told you so. So I'll shout it through cupped hands.
[cups hands]
Jeff Winger : I told you so!
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Shirley : Hi, Jeff. I brought bagels.
Jeff Winger : Oh, I'd love a bagel. The perfect beginning for my first day of billiards class.
Shirley : Oh. Did you pick a special outfit so you could look sexy shooting pool?
Jeff Winger : Shirley, I have no idea what you are talking about.
[Jeff poses on the study table, causing the bag of bagels to spill to the floor]
Shirley , Annie Edison : Oh. Oh.
Abed Nadir : [observes bagels on the floor] Thirteen.
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Annie Edison : This will be great for Abed.
Abed Nadir : It will?
Britta Perry : Aren't you excited about talking to her?
Abed Nadir : I wasn't planning on it.
Annie Edison : What?
Jeff Winger : Guys, come on, you heard Abed. He's not interested. Drop it.
Shirley : Jeff, you need to mind your own business. Abed, you need to get with this girl, immediately, if not sooner.
Abed Nadir : Yeah?
Troy Barnes : Abed, for guys like you, this kind of opportunity only comes around once in a life... while.
Pierce Hawthorne : It's important to date in college, Abed. It's a time of freedom and exploration. A time when a simple pillow fight between two innocent girls could turn to a steamy night of unbridled lust. Britta knows all about it.
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Pierce Hawthorne : Oh, come on, who are we kidding? Jeff's right. Abed was happy being Abed till we had to sully his mind with thoughts of love and romance and vaginas.
Jeff Winger : [to Britta] Those are the big three. That's what they call them.
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Annie Edison : About yesterday...
Abed Nadir : Oh, yeah. You guys must be pretty upset.
Britta Perry : Why would we be upset?
Abed Nadir : Well, I know how important it was for you that I get a girlfriend. So when Jenny went off with white Abed, it must have really hurt.
Troy Barnes : Ah. It did.
Jeff Winger : White Abed?
Shirley : Jenny's boyfriend is a white guy that's almost identical to Abed. Name is Joey and that's why the sketch was in Troy's book.
Jeff Winger : So does that make Abed brown Joey?
Shirley : [defensively] If you wanna get racist about it.
[Jeff appears confused by the double standard]
