Alien Shark (2022) Poster

(2022)

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4/10
Aliens possessing Sharks and Busty Women
trestenj8 September 2022
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is Fantastic. The cinematography goes from clear to blurry from scene to scene. The script is so terrible it's actually funny. And yes the aliens send green beams down to posses a shark and then several women after a girl who's very enthused about crystals and energy preforms a new age seance where they have salt and have to hold hands to summon spirits. They don't even hold hands. The alien shark is summoned and possesses the new age girl and then she keeps dreaming about eating people, and keeps saying the military protagonist girl's body is strong and wants her. The rest of the cast just assumes she's drunk and Bi-curious and obviously not possessed by an alien shark. A random homeless man gives the busty military girl a sea shell and she fights a giant chi shark for 3 seconds that has glowing eyes. And yes they use stock footage of real sharks with their eyes glowing to show an alien presence. She randomly finds a pipe bomb because she feels and knows suddenly what to do. Then she blows up an alien device that blows up a ship in space, while she runs and falls over while her boobs nearly fall out of her shirt. Fantastic piece of cinema to make fun of and laugh at. Also the alien shark throws up a pit bull with a shark head and the girls keep thinking it's a capybara or a chinchilla. Amazing script.
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3/10
O......M.......G
davidar-360988 September 2022
Warning: Spoilers
This is what you get mix, sharks, aliens, busty women and drugs....lots and lots of drugs. This movie expanded my mind and helped me understand the depth that human insanity can go to and why I never want to go there. There was a slight charm to this movie that helped it from being just bad, but very slight. The characters were passable, at least the ones that died immediately. They did come up with a reason why some the acting was wooden, possession by alien shark. Yes the best part, Sharkdog, hoping for a spin off movie or a sequel "revenge of sharkdog" "you killed his alien shark mom, big mistake!". Overall this movie was ridiculous, and crazy. The graphics were something out of clay fighters 64. This movie was awesome.
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4/10
Well...
luconator24 December 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Was it Terrible? Yes. Did I watch it 'till then end? Also yes.

You know what you're getting yourself into with a movie called Alien Shark. But even if I give it a 4/10 I will say this, in 1h13 runtime, they manage to fit in a half dog half shark hybrid, a floating ghost shark, an alien shark that also possesses people and an alien spaceship orbiting earth shooting laserbeams down to earth.

Not to mention completely unnecessary character development that doesn't lead to anything. Leaving you wondering if it's one of those completely self aware silly bad cgi movies or if the filmmakers actually tried to make a movie.

But it's all there.
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1/10
Best Movie of 2022
lenam212723 October 2022
Single-handedly the greatest movie I have ever watched. This Walmart exclusive had the best acting I have ever laid eyes upon. The storyline and dialogue was exquisite. The animation is ahead of its time and so incredibly realistic. There was so much suspense and I was on the edge of my seat for the entire 72 minute duration of this film. I recommend this movie to any lover of Sifi thrillers and sharks. I praise the creators of the this movie for concocting this absolute masterpiece. My life is complete now and I will never watch another movie again, unless it is Alien Shark 2. Everyone should watch this movie at least once in their life to find complete satisfaction in the film industry again.
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4/10
Alien Shark
CinemaSerf15 January 2024
Not sure if this nonsense is better testament to the artistry of the CGI programmer or their "chemist" - but in any case what we have is pretty much unwatchable. Soldier "Aleesha" (Brittany Altenbrach) is holding a party on a beautiful island when a meteor makes a splash and suddenly an hallucinogenic shark is terrorising the place. Quickly, we discover that there's a space ship - straight out of "Space 1999" - in orbit and it's using a deadly green ray to control not just the big fish, but one or two of her feeble-minded friends. Can she figure out just what's going on and thwart it's menacing intent? This actually makes Tommy Wiseau's shocking "Big Shark" (2023) look good, Oscar winning even! The acting is terrible and the story, such as it is, looks as if it was the result of a booze-fuelled college dare! The "animation" is hilarious at times and the denouement comes about an hour after it needed to. It must have had a very low budget, but what there was ought to have paid for a good lunch whilst leaving the camera hermetically sealed in it's box.
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4/10
Not as horrible as I thought
AlienRobotZombieOverlord17 December 2023
OK, with a title like Alien Shark, I could only assume this was going to be pure trash. (Hey, Noah's Shark had the best title ever, but was like watching paint dry.) Honestly, there wasn't much of a plot here, or a budget anywhere to be seen. The titular creature was rendered with bad CGI and stock footage, and didn't appear much.

But actually that may have saved the movie, because it meant relying on the human actors more, and some zany twists. It wasn't riveting, but it did keep it from being a total waste of time. And I have to say that the cast was pretty good as these things go. Brittany Altenbach held her own as the leading lady, even though she had a ridiculous script to work with.

Let me put it this way: If they DO make an Alien Shark 2, as much as I hate to admit it, yes, I would watch that.
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2/10
and then they sit around and talk some more
continuumx22 December 2023
The movie open with a shot of a meteor. Then it cuts to two girls jogging on the beach in their swimsuits. They spot a glowing rock. One of them is compelled to pick it up, gets green glowy eyes and than walks into the water. Then they both drop out of frame in the foot deep water. End scene. I had no idea what the hell was going on. It set the tone for the rest of the movie perfectly. Then we cut to the main character, Aleesha, talking to some stock footage of a military helicopter about how she's on leave. She's about to undergo the most world changing, glass ceiling shattering training ever. We later find out that she is going to Ranger school. No one tell the filmmakers that around 100 women had graduated from Ranger school by the time this movie was made. Anyway, the next big chunk of the movie is mostly the characters sitting around talking or walking around talking. Not a lot really happens. There are some odd vignettes that don't go anywhere or make much sense. At one point, they are walking along the beach and see a woman lying near the water. They go over to see if she's okay. She gets up, gets green glowy eyes and starts walking toward the water. The main character punches her in the face to stop her. She comes to and is confused in Spanish. Then she walks out of the frame and out of the movie. Who was that? What was that about? I have no idea. This goes on for what seems like forever. Then there's a rushed, nonsensical ending that involves fighting an invisible shark and throwing a pipe bomb at a doohickey made from an old digital camera. The day is saved I guess.

There are some entertaining bits here and there. They are few and far between though. Most of it just boring scenes of people talking about nothing.
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10/10
stunning
isobelramsdenn12 April 2024
After watching this film, my life is complete. I have gained complete satisfaction from watching this film and i believe my life has peaked. I will never watch a film with such exquisite cinematography and thrilling special effects.

At some points in this film i was truly on the edge of my seat, unsure to what would happen next. The acting was exceptional and i felt every emotion that their characters portrayed. This film was truly an emotional rollercoaster and it pains me to think that i will never experience the true pleasure of experiencing alien shark for the first time again , i could talk about this film for hours. Alien shark was the peak of cinema and no film will ever compare. I am heartbroken that there has not been a sequel to this masterpiece.
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