Project X (2012)
Thomas Mann: Thomas
Photos
Quotes
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Dad : I just didn't think you had it in you.
Thomas : I know. Sorry I let you down.
Dad : No, I literally didn't think you had this in you. So uh, how many people were here?
Thomas : Uh, 15 hundred. Couple thousand maybe.
Dad : Wow.
Thomas : You should have seen it. It was awesome.
Dad : Well, you're still fucked Thomas.
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Thomas : [holding the gnome] How did this thing get up here? Was someone in my parent's room?
Costa : It's a gnome. I guess he gets around. Who cares, man?
Thomas : Well, I just don't want people up here. Besides it's creepy. Look at him. JB, what are you looking for?
JB : Looking to see if your dad has condoms. I'm working on something downstairs.
Costa : The only thing you're working on is diabetes, you fat fuck.
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Costa : [All 3 are sprawled on the front lawn] I love you guys. No seriously. Look I realize I can be like a huge dick sometimes, I'm really sorry for that.
Thomas : It's okay.
Costa : No it's not. JB, I'm sorry for buying you a bra on your birthday. That wasn't cool.
JB : Wasn't cool man.
Costa : And I'm sorry for all the times I called you "fat fuck." "Pudgy bitch." "Fudgy the whale." And I'm sorry for that time at your brother's Bar Mitzvah when I told everyone you look like Rosie O'Donnell because you don't.
JB : I don't.
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JB : Holy shit, dude. It's Miles Teller.
Thomas : Dude, it is. That's him! Holy shit.
JB : He's so badass.
Costa : Yeah, my boy's starting at second base for USC.
JB : I heard he got sent to detention once and wound up banging the teacher.
Costa : Mi-Tell! What's crackin' bro? We go to North Pas.
Thomas : Yeah, dude, big fans.
Costa : Huge fans.
Miles : Cool. Awesome.
Costa : Look, we're making a movie.
JB : Invite him, man. Come on.
Thomas : Okay. Listen, Miles, we're having a little soiree at my place tonight. If you wanna swing by it should be.
Costa : [interrupts] Teller, my boy here is underselling this like a mother fucker. This shit's gonna be legit. You should definitely swing by.
Miles : Yeah, I can't. I actually have other plans tonight, so I might not make it.
Costa : Dude, think about it. It's on Dickens Street. We'd love to have you.
Miles : Dickens Street?
Costa : Yeah.
Miles : That's your party? You guys are throwing that? That's where I'm going. I heard it's gonna be fucking crazy, bro!
Thomas : That's my party. I'm Thomas Kub. It's my birthday today.
Miles : Yeah, I heard it's gonna be unlimited high school pussy and shit.
Costa : Dude, high school pussy for days.
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Thomas : Kirby I'm really sorry about what happened. I didn't know how to handle it. But I think I do now and that's why I'm here. My life right now, it's totally ruined, okay. I practically burned down my whole neighborhood. Probably bankrupted my parents. I'll be in debt until I die. But, the only thing I care about fixing right now is this. So, I'm sorry. You're still mad. I get it. But if you are talking to me about my next birthday, I'd really like to spend it with just you.
Kirby : You're...
[She kisses him]
Thomas : So we're cool again?
Kirby : I never said you were cool.
[They hug. Thomas motions for Dax to stop filming]
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Thomas : [All 3 lay on the front lawn, high on ecstasy] Hey guys? I hooked up with Kirby. I'm like, really into her.
Costa : Okay seriously Thomas, that's like cool and all, but she's like always been around. It's like hooking up with JB, but her tits are smaller.
JB : Hey.
Costa : I'm just saying. Kirby's sort of like, one of us. Tonights about the girls we never had a shot at. Tonight's about changing the game.
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Rob : Hey, Thomas. Look man I don't want to be a dick here or anything, but your friend Oliver came by earlier and told me you guys were having a little party but this is too much.
Thomas : Yeah. We actually should be winding down like midnight, maybe 1. Is that okay?
Rob : No, it's not. I'm sorry. The baby can't sleep and Melinda's gotta be up early for work.
Costa : Fuck yeah! My boy Rob is here to rage! Good to see you, brother.
Rob : Whoa, yeah. Actually I'm not raging, but I'm just telling Thomas it's time to shut it down.
Costa : You can't be serious. This is a great party. What the fuck?
Rob : I am serious because it's 11:30 at night and it's time to wrap it up.
JB : Hey, hey, hey. Why don't we just bring everyone to the back and lower the volume a bit.
Rob : Guys, this isn't a request! The party's over.
Costa : I guess we're just gonna have to agree to disagree then, aren't we?
Rob : Listen to me. Thomas, either shut it down or I'm calling the cops. Fine, fuck it! I'm calling the fucking cops.
[gets a taser shot by Everett]
Costa : Fuck! Oh shit!
JB : Jesus fucking Christ! What did you do that for?
Costa : [Rob punches Everett in the face] Are you fucking kidding me? I will fucking kill you!
Rob : The little fuck tazed me! I'm definitely calling the cops now!
Costa : You punched a kid in the face! I'm calling the cops on your ass now!
Rob : Do it, genius! It's all on tape. I just saw this mother fucker record it right here.
Dax : No, all I got was you punching that little child's face.
Rob : Fuck you!
Costa : Go home, Robert!
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Kirby : [Shows Thomas a video of his dog tied to balloons] Can you imagine if your mom ever saw that?
Thomas : Poor Milo.
Kirby : I don't know. It's pretty funny. Maybe I'll post it on youtube.
Thomas : No no, don't. Don't, seriously stop.
Kirby : Come on, you're way too easy. I love it.
Thomas : I hate you.
[pets Milo]
Thomas : You're okay Milo, I promise.
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Thomas : [Looking at a picture from when they were younger] Oh my god. What was wrong with me? Wow, this was before Costa.
Kirby : Yeah, the good old days.
Thomas : Yeah, back when you were still in the crew.
[He holds the picture next to her face]
Thomas : You used to be so cute, what happened?
Kirby : Shut the fuck up. It still looks like me.
Thomas : [He kisses her] Was that weird? I'm sorry. Shit that was weird wasn't it?
Kirby : No, it was...
Thomas : Fuck.
[They make out]
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Everett - Security Guard : Hey boss.
JB : What the fuck?
Costa : There he is! This is Everett and his boy Tyler. They're gonna be running security for the night.
Thomas : Are you serious? Are those nun-chucks?
Everett - Security Guard : Yeah.
Thomas : [laughing] Oh shit.
JB : You guys look like Ninjas.
Tyler : Ninjas are fucking pussies!
Costa : That's why I love this kid.
Tyler : You know it.
Costa : Seriously Thomas, with these two we got nothing to worry about.
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Thomas : Dude, people are stealing shit, breaking shit. I mean people are probably stealing shit.
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Thomas : My parents are gonna crucify me if anything gets fucked up! You know what I don't care if everyone thinks I'm a dick, I'm getting them out of the house.
Costa : Dude come on.
[Thomas stands on a chair]
Costa : Dude what the fuck are you doing? Thomas! Please don't embarrass me like this!
Thomas : Hey listen up!
Alexis : Yeah, Thomas! Woow!
[Crowd cheers]
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Thomas : [the three watch the party from the bathroom window] Where the fuck did all these people even come from? You know some guy down there told me he found out about the party on fucking Craigslist?
Costa : My dad met my step-mom on Craigslist.
Thomas : So you just put up my address on the fucking internet?
JB : Well, not just the internet.
Costa : Shut the fuck up JB!
Thomas : No wait, what the fuck is he talking about?
Costa : Okay, I had Jesse Marco put out an email blast and he may have called a radio station.
Thomas : You motherfuckers!
